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Old 04-21-2018, 05:34 PM   #7
Wade
Basic Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Sweden
Posts: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by directorik View Post
Welcome to indietalk, Wade.
Thanks directorik, glad I found my way here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by directorik View Post
This is why Wade asked the question. I read this as two different
houses - one day and one night - with a dramatic parallel going on.
The simple solution is to distinguish between the houses. It's already
stated that one event is happening at night and the other during the day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by directorik View Post
To make it flow better I suggest naming or describing the houses;
MICHAEL'S HOUSE or TWO STORY HOUSE
ROSEANNE'S HOUSE or CRAFTSMAN HOUSE
I think I did a bad job explaining the way I intend this scene to be played out, my bad! Yeah, so this scene takes place at the same house, but at different times. The night and day scenario was just a way to simplify the explanation, but in the final screenplay, it could be the same time of day as well.(imagine we cut between two separate universes… in one universe Michael finds Rosanne dead at the house, in another universe, it’s the opposite, and we cut between these two different realities)

To clarify, this is what’s going on: (at least what we're lead to believe is going on...) Two cops have been separated into two different rooms. They’re both interrogated at the same time, and they both claim to have arrived at the same house and found each other dead. A great mystery (at least that’s what we’re lead to believe…). When this takes place we, the audience have no clue to what’s going on. How can this be?

Instead of TELLING the audience what happened, I want to SHOW what happened from both of their point of view at the same time. So, let’s put it like this: It takes place at the same time of day, they arrive at the same house - two separate realities. I see it in my head; it's beautiful! I just need to make it clear to the reader.

You might not be able to put it like this, but this is how it goes down: (NEW EXAMPLE)

INT./EXT. POLICE CAR - DAY (DRIVING) (ROSANNE'S UNIVERSE)

Rosanne makes a right, onto a driveway. She stops the car behind one of the two firetrucks also standing on the driveway along with several police cars and ambulances in front of a white cordoned off house.

She opens the driver door ––

EXT. HOUSE - DAY (MICHAEL'S UNIVERSE)

–– and Michael get's out of the car. He SLAMS the door shut and ducks under the barrier tapes as he approaches the crime scene on foot.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT (ROSANNE'S UNIVERSE)

Rosanne shows her batch to one of the police officers guarding the site.

EXT. HOUSE - DAY (MICHAEL'S UNIVERSE)

Michael crouches down next to a yellow body bag lying on the ground. He pulls the zipper and opens the bag.

MICHAEL'S POV –– looking at Rosanne's dead body.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT (ROSANNE'S UNIVERSE)

ROSANNE'S POV –– looking at Michael's dead body.

Etc...

My initial thought was that new sluglines would for each time we cut between the two realities would mess up the flow, hence another solution. To quote the great John August:

Quote:
Originally Posted by John August
If you’re cutting away to the same thing often, using the full scene header gets annoying. It’s like that guy at a party who keeps introducing himself.

We know who you are, Dave. You can stop.
Appreciate everyone's input, thanks!
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