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Here is a scene from Donniker Productions, "DONT LOSE&q

INT. CAB EARLY MORNING

Phil is sitting in the back seat of a taxi cab. An inspirational tape can be heard in the BG. Phil seems to be happy and unsure how to handle it. The cab driver turns his tape down to talk to Phil. Cabbie is from another country.

CABBIE
Hey Phil, what's new my man?

PHIL
Nothing

CABBIE
You got a look about you this morn, tell me what is going on.

PHIL
Just things.

CABBIE
You need me to stop by the store?

PHIL
No I'm good. Hey what are we listening to any way?

CABBIE
Oh yeah this is a new cassette tape I purchased on the intra net. It helps you rememorize stuff.Like how to rememorize your kids birthdays and how to rememorize some important phone numbers. It is a good tape, I think it will help me with my job, I will be able to rememorize places.

PHIL
Oh that's good.

CABBIE
If you want I can let you borrow it.

PHIL
No thanks.

CABBIE
I tell you this shit works, these tapes are great! I had another tape, it help me get over the fear of strangers. You know I come from another country and I am a little shy, plus I don't know how you people act, you know?

PHIL
I guess.

CABBIE
So I got this other tape and it help me get through my fears. Like I talk to people now, the ones who are bothering me. I brought my child into the super market one day and he was wicked tired and needed a nap. I was trying to get in and out of there as quickly as possible, my silly kid wanted to stay longer so it seemed. I said Johnny we must hurry, he just flopped himself on the floor and begin to throw a fit. I was in line and next to be waited on the people behind me were very unhappy with me and my child. They gave me looks like, "Can you control the child or what?" The bitch at the register says "We got a screamer!" Fuck her! I look at the woman behind me and say.

Cabbie begins yelling and pointing.

CABBIE
Are you judging me person in line? Are you? Are you judging me other person in line? Are you? Why don't you just Boo and Hiss at me? Bitch ring me up!

PHIL
Shit I forgot my wallet!

Cabbie becomes very calm.

CABBIE
See you need this tape, you want me to turn around?

PHIL
Please do.
 
Every Picture Tells A Story

Expositional - and it's a radio show rather than a movie (dialogue driven instead of visual storytelling).

Plus some basics like passive verbs, spelling, etc.

Try writing a scene that creates an emotional response in the audience *without* resorting to dialogue. Use the picture part of moving pictures to tell the story.

"If it's a good movie, the sound could go off and the audience would still have a perfectly clear idea of what was going on."
-- Alfred Hitchcock

- Bill
 
I certainly agree that dialogue is not the priorty in a script. At least for me anyway. But I found the scene to be funny. Not groundbreakingly hilarious or witty, but there's some humor there.

A "radio show". I don't know. It's kinda quick to dismiss it as such. We don't know the entire script. Many notable films have sections of back-and-forth dialogue exchange that extend beyond a page or two.

I like it. But that's just my opinion.

And as for what Hithcock said- well that's just his opinion. Not every single one of his films were classics. And if he thought dialogue wasn't important - why didn't he just make silent films? I know - he's not here to answer the question. :cry:

And "passive verbs"? It's dialogue. Most people dont speak proper grammatical English. Ya know what I'm sayin'?

I do value image as I believe Eisenstein and some of those other Russians of his time demonstrated it to be probably more powerful than we realize.

F*ck convention. (not to be rebellious for the sake of being rebellious, but if you think it's the right choice) Do whatever you want. Nothing wrong with a dialogue-driven script. It may not be taking advantage of all of cinemas resources - but so what. Sure some people may have a problem. Including some agents and producers. Happens all the time - you hear about a film that everyone said "no" to and laughed at, but once it finally saw the light of day, it made a significant impact. Ya never know.

Take a chance.

Grow a pair.
 
A heads up:

Through email, donniker let me know that it was part of a feature length script that is being written as we post.

I agree with Mr. Eagle, some of the most notable indie scripts are dialogue driven. It's not how I write my screenplays because I am visually imaginative, but that doesn't mean I would dismiss a script that is primarily dialogue. I once heard (in a screenwriting seminar) that it may be a great tool for a writer to leave out all of the SHOTS and just focus on the story and characters, the director will more than likely change all the SHOTS anyway.

Poke
 
The matter of the "visuals" telling the story isnt about the "shots" in a script. I never ever write "close-up of..." or "we pull back to reveal..".

That's something else that as a screenwriter I never even consider, unless ofcourse I will also direct.

But advancing the plot through the actions of the characters rather than dialogue. What the characters actualy do, not how you're going to shoot it. That's what wcmartell meant, I believe. And I agree its usually more effective and makes use of cinema. Part of one of my scripts, JIGSAW RAINBOW is posted on this forum, if you wanna see that I practice what I preach. (shamless promo)

But I also think going against the grain sometimes is good. And if you've got great dialogue that works...

Glengarry Glenross (albeit based on a play)
12 Angry Men
 
I like the back and forth

As far as the dialog driven script. I have tried it this way, my first film was mucho on the dialog. I shot the film and it turned out OK, but I think with more time with the actors I could have done better. The reason I did this was because I believed dialog was all I had, with no money I needed to cheat by using people's imagination to help the movie along. This new script I am working on is in no way dialog driven. Maybe this scene is, but really nothing is going on except for a little comic relief and I needed the character to be away from a certain location for a few minutes.
 
No problems

I was just adding to the conversation, I am glad people liked the scene. I do agree budget has a lot to do with how much dialog is in the script. Woody Allen is a great example.


More to come
 
Just a tad of constr. crit.
One of the things that may help is to specify the cabbies nationality. By just saying "foreigner" I think may be too vague. There are times when I do appreciate the writer allowing me to use my own imagination and fill in the blanks. But in this case, for me at least, its not workin. Even if you dont care where hes from and it doesnt matter - perhaps just choose something. Even if its just European, or Asian - still broad, but gives a tad bit more idea of him.

....or maybe not. Justa suggestion.

Dialogue. Woody Allen - good example. Many of his films do have substantial action, though. But not ALL.

Whenever I find myself writing script that is dialogue-driven I seriously consider turning it into a play. Unless the script requires too many locations and other various theatrical(stage) impracticalities that cannot be changed.

But to each his own.
 
Cab driver

I see where you are coming from. It doesn't matter where he is from, as long as he isn't from this country and as long as he doesn't speak fluent english. I might give him a birth place I may not, either way it will probably change a few times before production and a few more after production begins. I think I am looking a a generic foreign guy, know what I mean?

I hope It doesn't sound like I am being a dink, not trying to be at all.

Thanks
 
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