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*snicker* The Velvet Mariachi just snorted some orchata juice into his nose. LOL!

KvP VPTurner, they used the poo word a total of 13 times over the course of eight feature films. Spatula, The Velvet Mariachi actually filmed some Star Trek fan porn. It was the best Captain on Captain action you have ever seen.

Emission Number 2 The Velvet Mariachi is proud to announce (to himself only, apparently, since no one else seems too interested in this topic) that he has submitted a second scene to the Kirk vs. Picard fanlib page at Fanlib.com. If you have a moment, come by and review his entry. C'mon, do...

That's One Good-looking Baby! The Velvet Mariachi would like to congratulate you on the birth of your first child! Now, there will be dangers along the way, difficult roads for your child to hoe. But do not become discouraged, even if someone calls your baby ugly (some people just have no...

Hello, I am The Velvet Mariachi! Just wanted others to know that The Velvet Mariachi has found the perfect source for hard-working, non-professional crewmembers: the Drive-Thru Window! No one works harder or can manage more things at once than the person who takes your order at the "short...

Velvety MySpace The Velvet Mariachi is on the MyEspace here!

The Velvet Mariachi has submitted a FANTASTIC first scene to the Kirk vs. Picard fan story creation! Please take a moment to look at it here. And if you like it (The Velvet Mariachi can't imagine it going any other way), please support it with a positive review! Aye ceviche!

The Velvet Mariachi was reading a blog entry by the one of the co-founders of Netscape. Interesting discussion of why NOT to do a startup. Even more interesting if you substitute Make a Movie for Do a Startup. Kind of gives one perspective on how hard it can be, no? The Velvet Mariachi has...

Billionaire Seeks TV Show Ideas! Marc Cuban is still looking for TV show ideas (here's the link)! The Velvet Mariachi has submitted numerous ideas, any one of which would be a winner. If you are looking for some good ideas for TV shows, check out The Velvet Mariachi's blog and get filming...

Velvet Cats Continued thanks for the help! The Velvet Mariachi will let you know how it goes! Arriba!

Loud Velvet Mariachi Loud Orange Cat, You do honor to your feline friends, this is wonderful advice and The Velvet Mariachi appreciates it very mucho. Gracias, gatito lindo!

Cats Love Spatulas Spatula, You continue to honor The Velvet Mariachi with your helpful advice. A dead cat marionette might actually work (and would explain some other dangling plot points in the third act) but The Velvet Mariachi will try some of your suggestions first and see how it goes...

The Velvet Mariachi is working on a short film where a key story element turns on a shot of a cat walking backwards. Short of filming said cat walking forward and then playing that sequence in reverse, how else might The Velvet Mariachi accomplish this little bit of film magic? The Velvet...

Yeah, imagineered is totally a word. Wideshot, John and Cibao, what wonderous people you are to invite The Velvet Mariachi into this fine, fine house. All the electrical and plumbing looks to be up to code. The Velvet Mariachi looks forward to exploring its many rooms. And the sub-basement...

What a Bright Knightly! Knightly! The Velvet Mariachi tilts a Corona back in your honor. Thank you for the welcome!

Will Vincent. . .will he WHAT? Senor Will! You, too, honor The Velvet Mariachi by taking a moment to welcome him to these parts. And lest you think he is annoying now, just wait! He can reach levels of annoyingness that you never thought possible. At least that's what his past girlfriends...

Spatula, like Cheese, gets better with age! Spatula, you continue to honor The Velvet Mariachi with your kind (and quantifiably true) words. My best wishes on your projects, may they be better than good but not quite perfect (cuz, seriously, what would you do for a follow up, part the Red Sea...

Spatula - You are a Keen Observer! The Velvet Mariachi is rather awesome, Spatula. Thanks for noticing. And may The Velvet Mariachi express to you how much he enjoys using your namesake kitchen implement. Just the other day The Velvet Mariachi made some huevos rancheros. They could not have...

Hello, everyone, I am The Velvet Mariachi! The Velvet Mariachi has been a longtime lurker but only recently decided to expose himself. At any rate, The Velvet Mariachi thought he would take this time to let you know about a call for projects that Marc Cuban, the billionaire owner of the...

Hello, everyone, I am The Velvet Mariachi! You may not have heard of him. . .yet. But with time, you will come to know The Velvet Mariachi as a force to be reckoned with! Or at least an annoying presence that sounds like a buzzing in your ear. But, hey, The Velvet Mariachi will take any port...