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@Alcove some cool stuff over there very interesting. Dont know if this kind of storytelling would translate to a 4 minute video but inspirational none the less. @WalterB The last scene is indeed too disconnected too much open space really felt that in the first shoot of the film. I like your...

@Sfoster yea you are right just cant to get over the hump right now but will try to figure something out. The hardest challenge for me is indeed nothing getting to know the character as that is wat intrests me in film.

@indietalk enjoyed the story simple yet captivating. I dont think i can use a mexican man because thts not really relevant for the belgian culture but the base of the story seems definitely interesting. Thanks for the help!

@indietalk i am sorry that you feel that way as that was not my intention.

Well you shouldnt have to apologize. I know i am mostly to blame myself for the choices i make: i could have been more critical of the script, i could of looked for help sooner, and many more things.I just really want to make it happen this year as this is my only chance to make it happen in...

yea you are right i put those in to set the atmosphere and to get to know the characters but if i would follow your story structure thats not needed. What do you think of the robbers making a written plan. My instructor and me too find it not realistic that robbers make a written plan. I wrote...

two waiters are Lien and Ellen. Robber is Bruno and the customer is Ewoud with his date Sarah 1) Lien is washing the dishes and looks nervous she approaches Ewoud and Sarah and tries to seduce Ewoud. Its a lousy attempt and she retreats to the kitchen leaving Ewoud and Sarah confused 2) In the...

@sfoster I appreciate the help! that was basically my script only left some stuff out. Only problem is how can i make the fourth scene work in a minute. In my first shoot that part took about 3 minutes. Just some quick back and forth cutting?

Well this seems to go downhill... I believe there a different kind of writers: some like to write alone and others like to co write feeding of each others ideas. I am more in the second group but havent yet found the people to cowrite with. I believe i have good ideas but at this stage(1st year)...

i wont but what can i do i will just have to go with my rewrite and hope it will work out...

Well i ve been trying for the last couple of weeks... But i guess that i wont find my answers here

Ok but why cut this off now... i have worked plenty on this script so to say that i ask to do the work for me seems a bit much. i appreciate the tips from direktorik but i need to move forward with this script so is it wrong to see if others more experience writers have ideas to maybe make the...

Well i hade some doubts myself about the timing. But my instructor pushed me to make the story and told me how it could be a great story. So i trusted him but he never gave me any guidlines in how to gell the story together in the given time. So i now i am in quite the time problem. So this is...

Yea i get that but i cant really see it. I tried simplyfing but then it get dull. Got some ideas?

The thing its a 4 minute video so there are some parts that viewer has to fill in. The problem is that there are too many of those moments and the viewer gets confused. So i need to tell the story in a clearer way but i am limited to 4 minutes and thats where i get stuck. Do you have experience...

Hi, I am in my first year of film school in Belgium and working on a project for school. I have to make a 4 minute movie. That shows that i can tell a cohesive story in only a few minutes. I have been rewrite my script a lot of times and me and my instructor cant figure out to make the story...