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I got that the "have they ever tried to touch your feet" line was meant to be odd. That's why I liked it! I thought it worked really well because I wasn't expecting it, sorry if i wasn't clear about that. I personally didn't find it clear that she thinks Allen is hitting on her, but that's just...

Sorry about that I accidentally pressed post but I have more, sorry if it seems like I'm being harsh, that's not my intention. Pg (1) - Dialogue doesn't really stand out, everyone sounds the same and it's not that appealing or entertaining. Then again, a conversation at a support group isn't...

I am in no way an expert in screenwriting but I'm going to try and give you the most detailed feedback I can based on what I learnt at University and my own experience writing. I hope any of this helps. FORMATTING AND SCREENWRITING ERRORS Pg (1) - INT. ALLAN'S BEDROOM - Your slugline would...

Thanks for reading it! :) It's the first draft so I'm going to be working on differentiating the voices in my second and third drafts. My main concern was on formatting it correctly and whether or not it was interesting/engaging enough to work as an opening.

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it. I wanted the beeping to be over black, and then have the Earth be the first image of the film but I should probably make that clearer to avoid confusion. Cool, I understand what you mean about "The Earth" coming out of the blue, i probably should work on my...

Crap, I'll try and fix it .... Try this. Hope it works! https://dochub.com/lukewilliams8d872890/jr5oob/vv-1

Hi, I'm new here and was hoping to get some feedback on my pilot script I am writing for a Uni project. It's only the first twelve pages. Any criticism would be greatly appreciated!! :) It's a SciFi pilot that I think begins like the X-Files but ultimately my goal was to create a pilot that...

Hi, I'm new here so I hope this is the correct section to post this, and I apologize if there is already a thread regarding this. I'm interested in setting up a notes exchange, as in I'll review your work if you review mine. I'm thinking it will go something like this: If you want, lets say 10...