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That line where the words sink in for Luke, that I've seen the John Q script as well. Same with the chill in air.

Hi, I've been reading a script titled "John Q" as I want to understand how to convey emotions in a screenplay using not only dialogue and facial expressions, but environment, mood and tone etc. I came across this in the script and I keep thinking it's against screenwriting regulations as it's...

Thank you to you both for your clarification and explanation, really helpful.

Hello, I have a general question regarding activity and parenthetical direction (PD). In a small sample below, I want to showcase that the character Chris is facing away whilst he is interacting with Joe. Now what I've done is to ensure Chris is still facing away is that I included PD above his...

Hello, This is just a general question for the future. Okay so some agencies do not like unsolicited material. They like you to be referred first by somebody. Now usually how does this happen? Let's say I have had a few short scripts in production and want to move the next level and try to be...

If you have written a script, does that make you an automatic copyright holder? If not then is it necessary for a writer to have his scripts (short or feature) to be copyrighted or is that pointless? I'm thinking of uploading my scripts onto Script Boutique and it asks if I am a copyright holder...

Just to show an example of brevity, I will write the above in a shorter version below to show how easy something we write can be rewritten to make it even tighter. FantasySciFi gives great advice. Regarding dialogue, brevity is KING. Why write a 6 line dialouge when you can write it in 2? It...

FantasySciFi always gives great advice. One of the things I learned about dialouge at an early stage is brevity is KING. No point saying something in 6 lines in your dialouge if you can say the same thing in 2 lines. That will help not only keep the reader/viewer interested, but keeps the flow...

Has anyone read the "Chase in the Woods" short screenplay? I just wanted to know if anyone has any thoughts on the second short script I posted on this thread (post #6) titled "Chase in the Woods"). A 6 page horror (which will probably last about 10 minutes if filmed because of the action.

@FantasySciFi I don't know how much appreciation I can express in words for the time and effort you have put to give me solid advice on my screenplay, thank you very much. I am trying to impress a director who is looking for a writer collaborator and this is my first screenplay so if it does...

Heres the link for the revised short screenplay as well as the horror short screenplay I wrote: Revised short screenplay: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9fYr7OO7muOOEYzWURrYnZCaFE/view?usp=sharing Horror screenplay: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9fYr7OO7muOVy16eEE5aTVzdTg/view?usp=sharing

Thank you Fantasy Sci Fi and IndiePaul for your posts, very helpful and I believe it will really help improve the script :)

Hi FantasySci, Thanks for you comments. He can't hear his grandson. Grandson is just muttering to himself or reacting, but granddad cannot hear him. The voices are a recent thing. Tbh it is based on my granddad who suddenly started hearing voices after his failed cochlear implants. He has...

Apologies for delay, thank you :)

Okay, here is a rewrite version. I have changed some things around. Hopefully the dialogue is improved and that there is more action. I'm not sure if I need to work on my writing style for the action, but if so let me know. Other than that, tell me what you think of the newer version...

Thanks filman. Actually what I am going to do is let the Grandad step out of the car. He will lean against the car and wonder how he can stop the voice. When the voice tells him to kill himself, the granddad walks away from the car. Grandson in the car wonders to himself where his granddad is...

Thanks for your comments and advice. As you like the theme then I guess that is one thing taken care of. I will concentrate on the dialouge and sprucing up the action, probably adding more bod language into it. I think I might do it so that the grandson doesn't say much, but when he realize his...

Hello, I have written a first draft of a short screenplay (8 pages). i wanted to know if anybody can give me any feedback on what they think of it (Good or bad). Logline: An old deaf man reveals his constant struggle with the voices in his head. The length should be 10 minutes or less. I have...

Hi, I am going to write a short script but I have a small issue. Virtually a man is hearing voices in his head and he speaks to let know his frustration. In a screenplay how can it be written to include the voices and him talking at the same time? Thanks Carl

Thank you for your replies and Adeimantus and Indiepaul