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That was extremely helpful. I will make sure to address all the problems you noted (format, too much description, redundancy, etc.). One other thing I wanted to ask you; the 'Woman in Red' doesn't struggle because she's not a fighter. That's how she's been able to survive for so long. She...

You had a good start, but I feel it fell off at the end. The ending felt forced. Nothing you built lead me to believe that Aiden would voluntarily shut himself down. My advice: Develop the relationship between Maddox and Aiden a lot more.

Quick update, I took your tips and reworked the script. I added some back story for the 'Woman in Red' character and further developed Nathan and Kasey's relationship. I also tried to remove the 'lightheartedness'. Consequently, the script also increased in size. It now stands at 25 pages...

Hey, how's it going Zaco32. I know you said you weren't worrying about formatting, but just Google some basic script formats, it would make life much easier. Let's talk about the story. Bell was murdered six years ago, and no one bothered to interview this suspect until now? As someone who...

Don't think, just act. The more you sit on the idea of having to move everything, the less enticing it becomes.

Do you have anything written yet, or just the idea? Either way, send me a PM and I'll help anyway I can.

Lol that's what I meant. My mistake.

It's a good start. You have a solid foundation. That being said, some of your characters are not consistent. Particular Chambers. He tells Perry, he's sorry for placing this burden on him. Why does he have to? You don't elaborate on why Owen has to be the one to kill Elise. Chambers could have...

Yes, the opening scene does take place a couple weeks in advance. Maybe I should add a date or something to make that clear. The tale for 'Hugo's beetles' is actually another script that I'm writing. I figured it worked well for this script. Thanks for the tip, mad_hatter. I will definitely...

Hello everyone, I wrote this script over the weekend, and have been fine tuning it ever since. I would love to receive some feedback on the script. Anything helps. The script is titled, Monster and it's 15 pages...

I find it hard to believe that a weapon delivery would go unnoticed. Try to find another way to get them weapons. (It doesn't necessarily have to be guns). In my opinion, blades/ shanks are far more intimidating and not to mention, believable. I like the idea though. Keep at it.

Thanks for reviewing Maz, If you're referring to the opening part where he forgets Annie's name. I think that part is not a lapse in memory, it's just that he wasn't paying attention when she said it. He was too occupied trying to figure things out. I might need to remove that part if that's...

Thanks a lot for your help, guys. Yes, You'reMrPink. That was line was supposed to be read loosely, and the moon does play a small part. It's part of a bridge that helps him remember. MarvelousDrew. You're right, Dementia does affects short term memory, which is why he only remembers his...

Hello everyone, I am looking for feedback on my first script, which I hope to make into my first short film. I have been rewriting it for the last week, and I think I have gassed myself out. I want some fresh eyes on the project and hopefully some insight that I may be missing. Anything helps...

I am in a similar situation. Most of my friends aren't interested in filmmaking, so I tend to tackle most of my projects on my own. My best advice would be to get multiple tri-pods and clamps everything to them. Microphone/ lights/ reflectors, etc., that way you can solely focus on the camera...

Welcome abroad!

Hello everyone, I mostly lurk in this forum, but I think you guys are awesome and offer great advice. I just finished my first draft for a short film (about 18 pages) and wanted someone with fresh eyes to critique the story. More so than that, tell me your honest opinion of the story. Is it...

I'm interested. Send me a PM.

I started a thread not too long ago and it dawned on me that I never properly introduced myself. I am an aspiring Filmmaker from in Miami, FL heading into his first semi-professional project next week. I say semi-professional because I am not a professional filmmaker, but I am treating the...

I'm not sure what is the "best" settings, but I like to shoot everything on a flat surface. Then I add whatever effect I want in post. These are my settings: 1920x1080 (24FPS) Sharpness: 2 Contrast: -4 Saturation: -2 Color Tone: 0