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It sounds like a good story. Instead of making it about the poice standoff as the main plot why not try doing it another way. you said that. "Randall's entire family looks down on his ex-wife after he dies, and her lover leaves her because he couldn't understand why she was so cruel to take...

Just watched the download and honestly man....I can't see what the critic has a problem with?? It's a cute Mockumentary and there wasn't anything that I could see that would imply that it was supposed to be taken seriously (like the reviewer said) You didn't imply nor say that it was supposed to...

I'll hate myself for this....I just know it. It appears like you have some real talent as a writer, but the problems I saw in the script stem from the specifics of Screen Writing. You can be a good writer, but not a good screen writer and that is what it looks like in this particular script...