Orrr
What if you did it backwards to what you just said. So all the events that pushed him to this; then zoom out of his eye and as the audience understands what just happens, the guy, well, blows his brains out.
:D
I liked it. It made me jump a couple times. It was really cheesy though; the editing kind of overdid some stuff; ie: When the phone went dead; you didn't have to show him pulling the line. But overall, really enjoyable.