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Search: Posts Made By: Adeimantus
Forum: Screenwriting 08-22-2018, 03:25 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 935
Posted By Adeimantus
Hey, Uneducatedfan Really appreciate the...

Hey, Uneducatedfan

Really appreciate the read!

A few explanations and answers. Mother runs back into the smoke to be with her husband, and realizes she is fulfilling a prophecy, and must submit...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-21-2018, 06:43 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 935
Posted By Adeimantus
directorik, Thanks for reading and the...

directorik,

Thanks for reading and the feedback. I appreciate it. I agree on the main points.

With regard to the uppercase words, I have to say I've watched your valiant fight against them for...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-20-2018, 06:20 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 935
Posted By Adeimantus
Looking for fresh eyes on a TV Pilot

This piece has been on the burner for two years in various forms. It's a collab, and I believe we're in the end game as far as revisions go (20+ major revisions).

Any feedback would be...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-19-2018, 07:13 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,095
Posted By Adeimantus
It's all important. Let's say you're trying to...

It's all important. Let's say you're trying to sell a Lamborghini. And it's sleek, and fast, and every inch is honed to microscopic precision. But it has square wheels... You see where I'm going with...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-17-2018, 03:43 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 2,064
Posted By Adeimantus
My pleasure! Remember, it's relatively easy...

My pleasure!

Remember, it's relatively easy to write a strong scene or two. What's damn hard is writing 60 or 70 of them and putting them together into a dramatic whole that works smoothly to...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-13-2018, 06:08 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 2,064
Posted By Adeimantus
Hey, UneducatedFan I liked this -- it was...

Hey, UneducatedFan

I liked this -- it was fun. A bit hokey, but fun.

A few small things.

Your villain, Varok, starts off using the most god-awful stereotypical backwoods accent and...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-27-2017, 04:22 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,950
Posted By Adeimantus
PM me?

PM me?
Forum: Screenwriting 08-27-2017, 03:25 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,950
Posted By Adeimantus
Nope. Just the fact that she's basically a...

Nope. Just the fact that she's basically a skeleton is kept hidden.
Forum: Screenwriting 08-27-2017, 02:00 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,950
Posted By Adeimantus
Sorry it didn't grab you, sfoster. And nope,...

Sorry it didn't grab you, sfoster. And nope, nothing at all to do with Finding Nemo. Heh.
Forum: Screenwriting 08-27-2017, 01:55 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,950
Posted By Adeimantus
There is no widespread agreement as to one space...

There is no widespread agreement as to one space or two. Surveyed English teachers in the US are split down the middle. The Chicago Manual of Style says one space, the Modern Language Association...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-26-2017, 06:05 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,950
Posted By Adeimantus
I've tried repeatedly to communicate your...

I've tried repeatedly to communicate your excellent point to my thumb, but it insists, of it's own will and volition, to hit the space bar twice after a period. I've even considered amputation, but...
Forum: Screenwriting 08-26-2017, 05:26 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,950
Posted By Adeimantus
Habit, left over from the era of typewriters,...

Habit, left over from the era of typewriters, many eons ago, when it was the custom.
Forum: Screenwriting 08-26-2017, 03:25 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,950
Posted By Adeimantus
Quick help needed on a short (19 page) script

Title: Love Undying
Pages: 19
Logline: Five years after his wife's death, a man keeps an appointment with her.

Made it to the quarters, and have a short window until semis. They're allowing...
Forum: Promotion 06-25-2017, 08:05 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,489
Posted By Adeimantus
Cool avatar! Cool concept! Go forth, brave...

Cool avatar! Cool concept!

Go forth, brave and badass comrade; these are dangerous times and guerillas with cameras are needed now more than ever!

Excelsior!
Forum: The Lounge 06-13-2017, 05:03 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,250
Posted By Adeimantus
Imo, poetry conveys meaning and emotion with the...

Imo, poetry conveys meaning and emotion with the use of various techniques including metaphor, simile, symbolism, subtext, etc. Films (the best films imo) employ some of the same techniques. That's...
Forum: Hollywood 06-12-2017, 02:11 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 3,311
Posted By Adeimantus
La La Land is a Trump fever dream; its values are...

La La Land is a Trump fever dream; its values are Caucasian and suburban, and it only works if you don't know An American In Paris exists.

Hell Or High Water is Bernie Sanders. It featured an...
Forum: Welcome! 06-07-2017, 02:36 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 806
Posted By Adeimantus
¡Bienvenido!

¡Bienvenido!
Forum: Networking 06-07-2017, 02:25 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,124
Posted By Adeimantus
"...with something already written that doesn't...

"...with something already written that doesn't require money to produce."

I've got a feature biopic of Spanish poet Federico García Lorca that won lots of awards, including a Nicholl...
Forum: Screenwriting 06-04-2017, 07:13 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,917
Posted By Adeimantus
Hey, Blase29 Actually, it's not "heavy...

Hey, Blase29

Actually, it's not "heavy dialogue" I'm concerned with. It's heavy dialogue exposition. By that I mean you're sneaking background/back-story information into the dialogue when that's...
Forum: Screenwriting 06-04-2017, 06:50 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,917
Posted By Adeimantus
And which format is that? There's no official...

And which format is that? There's no official United Nations Screenplay Commission that sets formatting laws for the world. In general, he does follow formatting "rules" quite nicely. Sluglines,...
Forum: Screenwriting 06-03-2017, 02:36 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,917
Posted By Adeimantus
Hi, Blase29 The good news: You've got a good...

Hi, Blase29

The good news: You've got a good eye for imagery, which is important in film, and the story itself is a good one that deserves to be told; you've got your foot in the door to telling...
Forum: Screenwriting 06-02-2017, 04:34 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,102
Posted By Adeimantus
Hey, mlesemann! Thanks for reading and fair...

Hey, mlesemann! Thanks for reading and fair enough. Yes, every character appears again. While Gabriela is ostensibly the main char, it's an ensemble piece and the town and its residents are the real...
Forum: Screenwriting 06-02-2017, 09:31 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,102
Posted By Adeimantus
Fantasy/Drama Excerpt: Other Eyes appreciated

LANGUAGE WARNING

A little help (this sucks, this doesn't suck too much, etc.) with a small excerpt would be greatly appreciated. It's the last half of Act One of a spec TV Pilot script. A little...
Forum: Screenwriting 06-02-2017, 09:11 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 4,021
Posted By Adeimantus
Joey and Brian, many thanks for visiting and...

Joey and Brian, many thanks for visiting and taking a look. I really do appreciate it. Feeling a little better about the scene!

Cheers!
Forum: Screenwriting 05-11-2017, 05:57 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 4,021
Posted By Adeimantus
Sorry, Sfoster. Yeah, you're missing a previous...

Sorry, Sfoster. Yeah, you're missing a previous scene because the above is an excerpt. Here's the previous scene:


EXT. BESIDE A SMALL LAKE - DAY

SAMANTHA (Sam) SANCHEZ (40),...
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