Recent content by max70

thanks I took the it to a script doctor and i realized there is much i need to learn. i was planning to make the production but I'm beat. i have to put it aside for now and continue with my new script, this time she will coach me. i believe this is the best way for now because i just...

filmjumper Filmjumper, what exactly do you mean, when you say the dialogue is to much on the nose? I'm not quite sure what it means.

I'm from nj and we do have resources in this area also. I wrote a completed screenplay, I didn't have anyone look at it in the forum, do you mind reading the first ten pages and give me your opinion, it's written a couple of post down with the attachment.

Thanks Krishna The beginning was at a church because the young man went through an experience which will lead him to believe any deviency is possible. The premise is based on the shootout, it is briefly showing the world they live in, I wanted to go in that direction.

Thanks for the info filmy, i sent my first completed screenplay on this forum you'll see it. I definetly will take your advice. I have to let it dissolve in mind for a minute. I'm going to start thinking high concept, good structure and good story. This is a business and we...

Thanks for the input on my post, they were helpful. I wrote this screenplay over a year ago. I brought it here and got feed back before and realized I needed to rewrite it, so i did. I didn't look at it for a few months and notice some of the words are not capitlized, i'll have to go...

Thanks filmjumper, I appreciate your your time and feedback. I have written another screenplay, it took me a couple of drafts, i read several books and audio. Syd field was good at first but story by robert mcgee was great. However my screenplay awesome world's first draft was written...

Thanks guys. The concept for this story is, a combination of animal farm, lenin, nazis, pharmacutical companies, corporate american, military, politicians the terrorist and of course vengance. I thought of this situation and how they all interact with each other. The current news and...

thanks zen I understand boz, I guess i just wanted some feed back on the idea of the first few pages, but your point is well taken.

things to consider I know this is a rough first draft, maybe i should of wait for some rewrites but i basically wanted an opinion on the first pages, does it capture your attention. I know I will have to make the rewrites, I hope this doesn't appear like I'M trying to be lazy, I know writing...

I was reading filejumper view on high concept and it was very informing, hopefully my next screenplay fits the bill. I just need to know if i'm going the right direction. A description would be, " Discontent with the current situation a group of men decide to take over the united states...

Hello, i finished my first 10 pages of my first draft. I'd appreciate your feedback, actually I wrote 35 pages but I want to know if my first 10 are going the right direction, thanks. I attached it, hopefully I did this right.

it sounds good coffe. my email is chavez_sergio15@hotmail.com

thanks steve

Hello, I just wrote a six page trailer and would appreciate any comments on it. I'm planning to film the trailer this month. I already wrote the screenplay and just looking for some feed back.