Concept Capsule

Migs15

Migs15

I'm in the post production process for a documentary that I shot last summer. I'm attempting to put together a concept capsule to describe my film. I'm looking for opinions and criticism about the statement. Here it is, and be brutal if you must :
"The Trip There" is a feature length documentary that through love and musict poses the question, 'Can one witness the spirit?'
Any responses would be much appreciated.
 
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I've never read the word "musict" what does it mean?

you're also missing a few cammas "," in there, maybe even a period ".".

remove the word "that" try never to use it.
 
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Coot- Cammas? I think you mean commas. LOL!

How's this Migs- Can you see the spirit? The documentary feature,"The Trip There", explores this question.

I don't know how you document exploration through love. Can you explain that so we have more to go on? Because I didn't understand it, I left that part out. Largely, I just reshuffled your words and sentence structure to create something I find more compelling.
 
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make it interactive:

Explore the question "Can you see the sprit" with the documentary feature "The Trip There".

HA...no commas! Seriously, determine first what you want the audidience to expect going in, then play with word order and choice to serve that end.
 
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