MY latest short film is "The Perfect Woman" and its all about Richard who is a sad git living in England with a boring life, then he realises that his relationship with his lovedoll is actually better than with his wife!

This film can be seen on www.ukscreen.com/screen/221

Please let me know of your reviews...

You've got to remove a lot of the pauses and other non-relevant bits. It's really dragging out the pace. This could easily be a third shorter, and you'd still have the same film.

It has some funny & awkward moments... I don't see the story making sense as a whole, though.

:)

Following latest short film being shown on www.ukscreen.com/screen/221 the reviews have been really abusive and i have recieved several complaints about the film!

Is my film really that bad?

New thread merged with existing thread on same subject.

I had a bit to say about it, in your original post :)

http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=8268

Needs some work, yes.

edit: Hmm.. that post is now this post. Speedy mods! :lol:

Yeah thanks for the "constructive" reviews. Currently i am learning how to edit using Premiere Pro 1.5 but i am finding it a bit complicated.

Some of the other viewers have written on the www.ukscreen.com/screen/221 that my short film is the worst they have ever seen, the acting and story is awful, and i am giving the British film industry a bad name! I do not believe i deserve all this personal abuse, however there were some good reviews aswell...

ducks back, water...learn and move on to the next project. My first times out were really bad. One the dvd for the Village by m. night shaymalan, he put one of his indiana jones fan films from when he was learning. Make a film, get honest/brutal criticism, use that criticism to improve your next film...lather, rinse, repeat. You'll be making films for profit in a bit.

Learning a complicated artform is complicated. Perservere, it's the only way you will improve.pick one thing you didn't like about this project and focus on fixing that in the next one. lighting (in my case), or the framing/cinematography...whatever. Use it to move forward.

A good critique will NOT attack the film maker, just the film. When you get a review that say "This writer/director/editor stinks!" you have to divorce yourself from that kind of talk and wait/hope for someone to explain where and why "the movie" stinks. Telling someone what's wrong with a film is a good step, telling them how to improve it is even better.

Offensive and ill mannered personal attacks don't do anyone any good. Just shrug them off for what they are, uneducated and ignorant comments. You also have to consider the source of those comments. When you can post something totally anonymous, getting nasty comes all to easily for some people. Don't take it to heart.

Now my question is, do you want an honest critique of your film?

Ofcourse! An honest comment about the film is that the scenes need tightening up to quicken the pace of the film and i am aware of this, but niave about editing. Any more comments

There were several good reviews from Tom Hanks and Harrison Ford!

Last August i know Tom Hanks was in the UK working on the Da Vinci Code (at Lincoln cathedral which is about a 30 minute drive from where i live), but i don't believe he would have time to watch my film...

I recieved an email that The Perfect Woman is to be uploaded on www.studentfilms.com on 16th Nov and is the same day i start production on Airport, which is about the supernatural (i have told Knightly all about it).

Therefore i will be interested to hear the reviews, abuse, compliants, hate mail, etc on studentfilms.com or maybe even some "good" reviews, who knows...

Okay, I read some of the comments on that page and seen your movie. Please don't listen to idiots like those. Like knightly said, water off a ducks back.

Wouldn't it have made better sense if Victoria had been in bed (although is looks like a couch) with Richard and just rolled over to ask who Monica is?

I'm not sure about the opening shot, the lights came up, was that the sun coming up? Wouldn't we have seen Richard in another position sleeping, maybe even drooling (for laugh sake). Depends on how you wanted the shot. Richard could have awoken to find Victoria pissed off and packing her bags. Much later we find out she's Victoria his wife but in the beginning we don't know this and it's confusing. We don't know these things because you didn't give us any clues.

It's the little things that count. Think about whether or not she has a tooth brush. Does it matter if you never show her toothbrush in the film, no, of course not, but when you give each character back story, it tends to make your film more detailed.

When the phone rings, Richard just sits there. No eye movement at all. And the phone is on the floor for some reason. Is he expecting a phone call from his wife (would seem likely)? If so he'd have the phone in his lap and pick it up right away.

Don't use the zoom function on your camera. Move the actual camera. As a matter of fact, weigh your camera down with extra weight.

You know, now that I look at it, it seems your director included "handles" for your editor but the editor left them in for some reason.

Here's another pace killer, while Richard reads the letter the camera is on the reader and stays there. There is a logic problem too; when the TV repair man leaves, the doll hasn't been blown up. When does he blow her up because the very second the repair man leaves Richard is on the phone wondering how to deflate her? So it would have been better to have Richard start reading the letter, have the voice over continue as Richard explores and blows up the doll.

The bus stop scene, is that copyrighted music playing? Did you get permission to use it? Got to watch what you do with other people's material. Just an FYI.

The scene where Richard says, "Are you a police officer?" You don't need that dialog because it makes Richard look like a total dolt. He's never seen a cop before? The gag would have been better had you just shot their reactions, no dialog.

Why did you keep the audio for the outdoor flash back scene when you had a voice over playing?

When Keith is talking to some unknown person in his living room and you cut away to some legs walking, back to the living room, a leg disappears as a door closes, back to the living room where Richard and the cop enter. Things like this just don't make logical sense.

There are a lot of holes in your story. All of the gags could have been carried out better. When the actor's speak, it's almost like their afraid they won't be understood so they're over enunciating for some reason. There were a couple spots where players talked naturally but it was rare. This may have been a conscious choice but without a good reason it just doesn't work.

And come on, who doesn't know how to deflate a blow up doll?

Little things like that prompt rude comments like the ones I read on that site. The concept of a blow up doll as the perfect woman, I like that. The idea that Richard is dreaming about another woman and the wife gets upset, I believe that could happen. Getting embarrassed when the repair man sees you with blow up doll in your hands is funny. Having to go out in public with a fully blown up sex doll is funny, but the reason he's doing it is not logical and so the humor is lost. A bet, a dare, something other than he can't find the nozzle which he obviously found in order to blow it up in the first place. The looks on the bus, the look from the cop all would have been funny had you given us a good reason for it to happen. And it would have been as simple as a dare. Or made Victoria his fiance instead of his wife and the blow up doll was part of the bachelor party. He had to walk around with it. How about blackmail, his friends blackmailed him into walking around with it. In the end Richard finds a cop who knows his dad and decides to play a joke on Keith. Then you bring the whole thing full circle by letting Victoria see Richard with the doll.

The other problem is your movie description on the web site reads, "Richard is a sad git living in Hull, then he realizes his relationship with his love doll is actually better than with his wife!" Where do we see Richard liking the relationship with the love doll?

Just easy things to do to tighten up your story.

Editing is an art. There are three main reasons movies turn out badly. Bad story to begin with, bad directing during, and bad editing after. Editing is an art unto itself. Find somebody who loves (and I mean loves) to put puzzles together and you've found the raw material for a film editor. What you shoot as a director and what comes out of the editing room can be two totally different stories. Editors can make and break an actor's performance. Editors have a lot of power. Doing it right is not easy. Stephen Spielberg said, "two frames are the difference between a scary great white shark and a floating gray turd."

You have to cut out all the pauses. Not just to make things move faster but to emote what your actors are doing. Unless the blank stare means something special, cut it. When you're done filming and you begin to edit or you get someone else to edit, now you have to reconcile what you shot, with what you have. This is known as coverage. Lot's of directors shoot things they know won't make it into the movie but shoot them anyway in case the editor needs them. It's something you grow to learn. The more you do it, the better it gets.

Is your movie bad, yes. Does that make you a bad director, no, it makes you inexperienced. Everybody has been there. Everybody has made a bad movie. Wanting to be good is a desire that comes from your heart. If you really want to be good, if you really want to tell stories with a camera, then learn. One of the best ways to learn is to get off your butt and just do it. Now that you've gotten off your butt, make it better.

Read books, read articles, read how, take classes, ask questions.

Gosh I hope this helps you because those idiots that posted on the site where your movie is located sure aren't.

Let me know if need anything else.

The "handles" boz is refering to is the footage between action and the actors doing their line or the action in the scene...and again at the tail end of the clip. Story bits aside, I'll re-edit the beginning of TPW to tighten it up a bit at work and post it for you to see the difference. I won't change the shot order at all, I'll just remove the handles.

For each clip in the timeline, you can set the in and out points for it. One of the things said by big time editors is to enter the shot when the action has already started and leave bofore it finishes. The edit is analogous to blinking. If the film is what the audience sees, the edit is them blinking, then looking at something else. Generally, you will look at something that has caught your eye. Make the edits reflect that timing. if someone on screen looks up, cut on the look to what they are looking at. In dialog, we know from life experience that it's like wathing ping pong, as soon as a line is delivered, cut to the next person. Movie conversations happen faster than in real life, because we can listen faster than we can formulate conversation. More when I get to work!

OK, I recut the first scene, didn't alter the content at all, just tightened up the edits. I took out 10 seconds of footage from 50ish seconds:

http://www.yafiunderground.com/Video/TPW_recut.mov

Thank you Knightly!

I just watched it and that looks so much better!

What editing software did you use?

I'm using Final Cut, but you could do this same thing in premiere or windows movie maker or imove just as easily. Keep in mind all I did was take the stuff that was already there and remove the bits before and after the dialog.

Thats the biggest film review i have ever recieved!!! Thank you Boz!

I did suggest we should start the beginning scene with Richard and Victoria in bed because sex will grab everyones attention from around the world! But Victoria then thought i was directing a porn film, so i decided against it as i didn't want to frighten her off!

During the bus scene we got heckled quite a lot from the people on the bus saying "nice lovedoll mate" and everyone thought it was really funny. I thought that scene worked well but you can always improve.

Richard asked the question "are you a police officer" because his character is a complete dolt! I got the idea when i saw Leslie Nielsen in Naked Gun 33 and a third walk into a doctors surgery saying "i want to see a doctor." Its a stupid, funny question and essential to his nerd/idiot character.

I played Keith and Dr.Ludwig von Washout because i can rely on myself and i cannot resist being in front of the camera. Filming the doctor scene was interesting as the set was next door to a public toilet and on several occassions i had to cut filming because we could hear someone trickling water or singing on the toilet! But despite the "interuptions" i think the doctors scene worked well.

Overall i think the film has a tentative start because of the slow pace but gets better after the bus scene and yesterday it was uploaded to www.playstarmusic.com (Calgary).

During production there was a documentry made about us making a film and they called the documentry "Eddie Rex... A Man or a Myth?" And it shows what goes on behind the scenes with all the madness of us making a film! So i am hoping they will upload it on ukscreen.com so you can all see it...

What did you all think to the acting?

and here's a re-edit:

http://www.yafiunderground.com/Video/TPW-re-edit.mov

Very nicely done knightly. :yes:

Hey Eddie, can I get a copy to edit too? I love doing it and would like some critiques on it.

I actually just pulled the URL from the source code for the hosts page and used a URL download utility (CURL) to suck the file down from the host.

That I know how to do. ;) I just wanted Eddie's blessing first.

Yeah thats certainly quickened the pace a lot!

However i don't mean to sound like a drama school teacher but when you are confronted with someone unexpected there is a suspensive atmosphere causing you to "think" what to say... Imagine if you were sat at home having sex with another woman then your wife suddenly comes home early, you will then have to think what to say...

I think its best not to reveal Victoria until hes asked the question "i wasn't expecting you..." apart from that the re edit is perfect! Thank you!

Does anyone know of any websites were i can get copyright free music?

Knightly i think the first 42 second re edit was better...

I was just demonstrating that there were many ways to cut that scene...you could have made it more comedic just through the edit as well (it wouldn't serve the scene, but could be done). The edit is where you retell the story creating tension and release, the same way you would when writing music. I agree the 42 second is probably the one you were looking for, I just wanted to demonstrate that you could cut it several ways and arrive at the tension faster by revealing. If the goal is suspense, the cut should be longer. if the goal is tension, the cause should be revealed for the audience to be able to experience the discomfort with the characters.

I also wanted to show how the same footage could be used in different ways to develop different reactions.

The clip of the main character sitting up is sped up a bit as he's sitting up...I did this by splitting the clip and accellerating the first part. I then took the audio from the second part and streched it underneath the first to eliminate the faster clock ticking that would have given me.

I jump cut (took out the middle bits) the light turning on to make it happen faster for the shock value...like when I turn on the light in my sons room when he won't get up in the morning ;)

You sound like a very experienced and impressive editor!

On Premiere Pro i have managed to capture the footage from camera to the computer but i do not have a clue about the rest.

I've studied alot over the last 3 years to prep for shooting this feature I'm doing. I've got a couple of shorts under my belt (one I wish I could show you, but it's tongue-in-cheek critical of a company by name, so I can't). practice and reading books about editing will get you where i am...3-4 years ago, anything other than a cut and a cross fade were alien. Now they are the building blocks of much more complex things. In reading, you also find out why a particular cut is made, not just how. Tons of info on the internet...tips and tricks kinds of stuff.

I watched your film "Hassegeschichte" about the white rabbit eating the tree which was very amusing! It reminds me of those silent movies starring Charlie Chaplin.

When you complete the editing of "Average Joe" i would be very interested in seeing it.

The moderator tells me that the chat room will be re installed eventually.

So what was the best book on editing you read?

no books yet, listened to a piece on dv.com from walter murch on editing, read a bunch on:

http://www.mediacollege.com/video/editing/transition/
http://www.cybercollege.com/tvp_ind.htm
http://www.swasco.net/swchs/faculty/L_Ewing/tutorials/video_overview.htm

there was one at apple, too, but I can't find it...it was wonderful and insightful...I'll keep looking.

The Perfect Woman film has just been uploaded to the German website www.infilm.net

I wonder if the reviews will be as abusive as on www.ukscreen.com/screen/221

Here is the news!

BONG!

"The Perfect Woman" has been today uploaded to www.vod.com

All hail "The Perfect Woman!" HAIL!

Super! Keep going...you shooting the next one yet...when does that happen?

I recieved a phone call from the manager at Humberside airport asking if we can postpone from the 16th Nov to the 18th Nov, which is fine with me and everyone else. However they have requested that we start filming from 8am which means i would have to pick everyone up at about 7am! I am a bit worried that some of my cast members maybe still in bed when i arrive...

Also i just finished the final version of TPW by editing out 58 seconds of footage.

I am quite tempted to send a dvd copy to ifilm.com, but i have heard so many negative comments about them i am not quite sure...

I'd love to see the re-edit...PM me with where to get hold of an online version of it.

"The Perfect Woman" has just been uploaded to www.studentfilms.com

I'm beginning to enjoy this...

The Perfect Woman has now been uploaded to www.mediakiller.co.uk

Best regards

Eddie Rex.
(George Best 1946 - 2005 RIP. Who passed away on my 29th birthday and shall remain immortal).

First impressions....needs more interesting camera angles. Everything is shot straight on, no reverse angles, low angles, high angles, nothing other than straight on shooting.

Lots of loooooong pauses. A twenty minute films that should be no longer than five minutes.

You got some funny situations the guy taking the perfect woman on the bus, but the long pauses and slow editing really kill the oddity of the situations.

Poke

Poke

Yes i know the editing has to be tightened up and recently i have been learning how to edit with Premiere Pro 1.5.

So far i have only edited 57 seconds off the orginal 19 mins 44 secs and i do not think i could ever get the length down to 5 or 6 mins without cutting a scene i enjoy. But thanks for watching my film.

Best regards

Eddie Rex.
(George Best 1946 - 2005 RIP)

Just done an interview for www.budgetfilmmaker.com (news) after someone watched my film "The Perfect Woman" on www.ukscreen.com/screen/221

Regards

Eddie Rex.
(George Best 1946 - 2005 RIP)

link is missing an M...reading now.

Yes thats correct...It was a telephone interview and my voice was recorded and broadcast on www.budgetfilmmaker.com under the "news" section.

Before the interview i had drank 4 pints of beer...but i did not embarrass myself or anyone else!

Eddie Rex.

(ALL HAIL! George Best 1946 - 2005 RIP)

Eddie -- good news on the Budget Flimmaker interview. Glad to hear they are still going strong.

So far i have only edited 57 seconds off the orginal 19 mins 44 secs and i do not think i could ever get the length down to 5 or 6 mins without cutting a scene i enjoy. But thanks for watching my film.

This is why it's often good to have someone other than youself edit your movie. The editor can make it tight and great and not be emotionaly attached to the footage. I know how you feel, after spending hours dressing and setting up a shot and doing take after take to get it right you definately don't want to part with it, but in the end you have to do what's best to make your' film great.

Making your film acceptable to yourself is easy if that's your goal. But if you want others to love it and think it's great sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and cut out what you don't need.

Thanks for sharing your film with us!

Yes quite right. The film footage is like golddust to me and deleting it really depressing.

However i have added various sound effects like animal noises, weird laughter, burping, etc, which makes every scene completely ridiculous and funny.

Currently i have exported the new version from premiere pro 1.5 on to a mini dv tape but i do not know how to export on to a dvd.

"The Perfect Woman" has also three long and detailed reviews on www.studentfilms.com

The amended version of the The Perfect Woman can be seen on www.budgetfilmmaker.com/video/perfectwomen.wmv

I have cut out the unnatural pauses and uploaded lots of different sound effects...

If anyone is lucky enough to have a video ipod "The Perfect Woman" can be downloaded from www.hungryflix.com/my-movie.php?my=82 as i am intrigued to know how it looks on an ipod...

Eddie, you seem sincere, but I couldn't make it all the way through TPW (gee, that TLA is kind of addictive). I must say I enjoyed most of the locations, and shot-framing, even some of the casting, and the general quirkiness of the piece. But the acting wasn't happening, and the editing either. Problems with both eclipse the absurdity of the story, which was actually so over the top that I found myself reluctantly intrigued. From the issues that arose for me, it almost appears as though you haven't watched enough movies/television. To use a blunt metaphor, the movie seemed autistic.

Find a movie that you really like a lot. Watch it. Watch it again. Watch it again. Watch it until you no longer pay any attention to the story, the acting, what's going on. Then you'll start noticing how long scenes take, where the scene cuts are, how the Director and Editor create dramatic and comedic tension and release. Then watch it some more. This is like training for long distance running, at this point you have to move past the boredom to where you view the movie from a different space entirely. Movies are a lot like music, they have a rhythm. Watch it with the sound off. Watch your own work with the sound off. There should be a discernible tempo, or ebb and flow. People have to care about what you're doing. You need to be aware of this in every step of production. We don't create work in a vacuum for only ourselves. How boring that is! Watch it again. Then watch something in a completely different genre, and notice how the pacing is different. You seem to have a grasp of the visual aspects, if you can work your pacing better and find some better actors (look for theatrical troops, standup comedians, local "characters" who ham it up wherever they are), you'll do fine with your next project. Filmmaking is collaborative, don't be afraid to let others in on your process, you can only learn and grow. Don't worry about the naysayers, they aren't filmmakers.

Thank you DavidChecker i am just a novice filmmaker and very enthusiastic about my work. I know what long distance running is like as i ran the Great North Run in 2002, 2003 & 2004 which is 13.1 miles with my best time being 83 mins 42 secs (a poor performance in my opinion) and also i run an average weekly mileage of between 40 to 50 miles. I am a fitness fanatic!

However the latest short film i have been working on is "Airport 9/11" which is based on a true supernatural experience...

Enthusiam will get you as far as you want to go!