08-23-2005, 02:31 AM
A beautiful young woman, mentally challenged, has an incredible gift for painting and sculpturing. She was born with a lack of oxygen to the brain. Raised by her two over protective sisters. A young inspiring writer falls in love with her, but he has to deal with the over protective sisters.
- CAN ANYONE MAKE THIS SOUND BETTER? :huh:
08-23-2005, 09:26 AM
Here's a shot, maybe it'll stimulate some ideas.
"A gifted artist, born with a developmental disability, is sheltered/guarded/cloistered by her sisters. An aspiring/fledgling/young writer must overcome her guardians/protectors/keepers to express his growing love."
08-23-2005, 04:33 PM
In order to make this better you need to decide who teh central character is, the handicaped girl or the writer?
The way you write your log line will be different depending on what your answer is.
08-24-2005, 11:57 AM
Actually, the girl and the guy are the main characters. Genea's character and her sisters develope before the writers; but the script generally revolves around Genea and the writer.
08-24-2005, 01:00 PM
It's unusual to have two characters of equal weight at the centre of a story and that might be why you're having problems locking down your log line.
The log line line normally explains the journey of the central character (singular), trying to explain two people's journeys will make the logline difficult to write well.
My advice would be to decide whether you want to tell this relationship story from the POV of the girl or the writer?
08-24-2005, 02:42 PM
What if you were to treat the couple as a single entity when you approach the discussion? Then each individual becomes a facet of the entity rather than a separate piece. Or follow the advice of the folks who have done much more within the industry and pick a focal point.