Check out Brock Jackson (Windows Media 15MB). (http://loganlproductions.com/videos/brockjackson.WMV) (Edit: this is the final cut, now. Not the test)
You are the first people to see this film. Congratulations. I still have some audio and video tweaking to do, but it will remain pretty much the same.
Read and answer this after the film: Yeah, there's no end. So what? Fuck you! It might actually remain with this ending. We are considering taping another ending, but it will still be lame and no crime will be solved. We can't get everyone back together (well, not for a few months). I think this ending sort of comes off as a joke. Does it work? Are you pissed and think my film sucks with that ending? The story structure is NOT meant to be traditional 3 act, btw! Think of it as a skit. Oh yeah, and take a Beercation (http://beercations.com).
07-27-2005, 07:31 PM
I have several comments and suggestions on this film:
However, this is not a traditional reply, where I might actually give you my comments and suggestions. A message that has a beginning, but no middle or end, and then non-sequiters into a strange product plug is kind of unsatisfying. Think of it as a joke. Where do you want to go today? (http://www.microsoft.com)
LOGAN L Productions
07-27-2005, 07:58 PM
Okay, but your reply just gave me mixed feelings. You didn't like the way the film was, and yet you did the same thing in your message and that actually made it interesting...Anyway, If I ended with Brock deciding he likes to be homeless, woud that be any better? That is one of my only real options. I'm trying to fix the ending, but it's proving to be a task. The original ending had an anal probe joke. I just thought I'd get rid of that since it was the only dirty joke in the film.
Do you have any criticisms on the technical side of things?
07-27-2005, 08:08 PM
It was just a joke, really. But the film does seem to set up the murder as being important, so not going anywhere with it, or rather, not going anywhere at all, is very disappointing to the viewer. It makes the film seem utterly pointless (which may be the point), other than to plug this website (which may be the point).
If the point is to plug the website, then do something more like a commercial, which doesn't mean it can't be funny, narrative or non-traditional. But this film doesn't seem non-traditional, because it is relatively typical, though quirky. It just seems pointless and somewhat deceptive because of the plug.
Technically, it was quite good, I thought. The direction was nice, I liked much of the camera work. The audio was a little rough, but you're working on that, I know. I would recommend, for instance, you put a little echo on the flashback to Weirdo 2's dialogue when guy is in the car, so it sells the flashback better.
The performances weren't bad either! There was some good character acting, and I liked when the guy ran into the back of the SUV. That got a chuckle out of me.
Generally, it just seemed to deserve more than that completely pointless "ending." The movie didn't really "end." It just stopped, oh-and-by-the-way-here's-a-plug.
I mean, weird homeless guys finding a laptop in a dumpster and bringing up the website, and being maniacally happy exploring it would have been better. Why the pretense of some kind of plot at all?
LOGAN L Productions
07-27-2005, 08:29 PM
I don't know I kind of liked the idea of having an epic plot and then just...making it all pointless. Granted, we had a much different ending written, but it was still abrupt and made the whole story pointless. In the original story, the whole thing was one big practical joke to get Brock to stick a probe up his You-know-what. I just cut that all out, but....aaah I don't know what to do...i hate having no money. If I offered money, the actors would be more willing to get back together. I may have to hope that I make money off of this so that I can make a sequel.
One thing that I REALLY dislike, though, is ending ON the plug. I'm going to try to add at least one more joke or sequence after that, because while I do want to get Beercations a lot of attention, I don't want it to be the focus of the film.
07-27-2005, 09:40 PM
I read the thread before watching it, so I just took it for what it was.
It reminded me of an extended bad-news/good-news Geico commercial... ending in an obvious plug, and a confused stare from the person being given the news. (That won't make sense unless you've seen the series of commercials, I guess)
With that in mind, I kinda liked it. :)
A bit of windy sound... could have definitely squeezed a few more jokes/pratfalls in...
That being snapped out of the flashback as it starts was particularly amusing, for some reason. :cool:
Btw... how on earth did you convince an actor to take a face-plough onto pavement?
LOGAN L Productions
07-27-2005, 10:12 PM
That's Zack Daniels. He is a HUGE physical comic...and he's not even a comic. He's just a friend of mine who always has great ideas. He has a great sense of humor and comic timing, as do the rest of the cast. He actually got a pretty bad wound from running into the back of that Tahoe.
I wanted to be in this film too, but I have to brush up my directing skills (plus, no one else had very much camera experience). I took this shoot a little more seriously than my previous ones, but it was still pretty fun and guerilla style. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to get rid of the wind noise. It sucks, but hopefully when I'm completely done it won't be noticeable.
Glad you liked it, Zen. Thanks!
07-28-2005, 01:02 AM
There were some funny moments...Scooter's unfortunate inability to "hit the brakes" being the best. And sometimes it's fun to just have an open ended joke of a film, but if you want folks to view it as a "sketch," I think you should label it as such from the get go.
- as Zen mentioned, the sound was bad in a couple of places.
- some of the lines were really bad..."Frida, I haven't seen you in a long time. Last time I saw you, we were partners on the force." and "Remember that guy I was telling you about outside? We found him dead this morning." were two that stood out. Personally, I would find the other lines (like the one about the birthday party) a lot funnier if the "serious" lines were written better...i.e. Brock: Frida, haven't seen you around. Frida: You've been living on the streets. Brock: I missed you. Frida: I invited you to my birthday party. Brock: I know, I was there. I tried to kill you with a pellet gun. Frida: That was you? You've lost weight. I just felt the lines were overly expositional. You can tell back story through dialogue without having the dialogue be on the nose.
- at one point, the actress starts laughing on camera. I think she even shot a glance off screen.
That's all I got. By the way, I think I need Agent Brown to come down to Austin for an investigation...yeah, that's it...an investigation. Wink, Wink. Nudge, Nudge. KnowhatImean?
LOGAN L Productions
07-28-2005, 07:20 AM
Yeah, Sonia is very sexy. Oops, I mean...yeah...investigation.
She actually meant to do that airheaded laugh and glance off in the distance to look ditsy. That wasn't an accident. The only slip ups I caught was Scooter smiling when he whispered "He's dead" and Brock smiled when Scooter fell in the beginning, but it can also look like he's snoring. I let those slide, because, from my point of view, they added to the warmth of the humor.
Otherwise, yeah...we had different cuts for dialogue, and the flashback goes way too quickly...but that was the best take. Thanks for the input Poke!
08-02-2005, 06:50 PM
Made me laugh twice, when the female FBI agent tells the guy to shut up before he starts to have a flash back and then at the end when the homeless guy is like "wha?", cuz I was like "wha?" too. I thought the FBI girl going off about the beer website is totally random and funny. Some shots seemed dark, some dialog quiet.
08-02-2005, 11:48 PM
I actually had a hard time understanding the girl when she said beercations.com If you hadn't posted the link, I don't think I would've found the site (EDIT* upon a second look, she says it ok, I just didn't get the URL in her line. And I didn't realize the URL was at the end of credits.) Maybe a shot of the website itself would help?
LOGAN L Productions
08-05-2005, 02:42 AM
Glad you liked it, Dudebro. Goat: sorry you couldn't hear certain things. I "release" shorts, but still continue to adjust sound and color afterwards for festivals and newer versions. I need to get out of that habit and release the films when they are totally done, but oh well.
08-05-2005, 07:57 PM
Well, like I said, it was only upon first viewing that I had that problem. For some reason, I guess since she was a government agent, I heard something like buearu-ation.com(I'm retarded), then she started talking about beer. I was like "huh...?"
But my pugged-up ears aside, this is basically an ad for the beer website, right? It's meant to drive in more traffic? If so, I would go the extra mile to make sure everyone remembers the url, even if it means putting the url at the beginning of the end credits. IMHO. .....unless it's just a plug and it's not meant to be the whole purpose of the short.
08-12-2005, 03:53 PM
It was pointless, and I know that was your point, just wish I would of known, I wouldn't of watched it. I laughed once, when the other homeless guy ran into the van.
- There was a close up during the beginning of Bum 2 that felt really odd and jarring.
- Some of the shots were really hard to see the actors facial expressions, and even their faces. Should of used a bounce board and boosted their faces.
- The car scene, if i recall correctly, all were shot at the same spot. You did work several takes into the scene, but it again, was jarring. Specifically when it was slowing zooming into Bum #1, and suddenly it was back to full frame.
08-12-2005, 04:00 PM
Watched 10 seconds of it and gave up. Nice post by the way. You supposed to be funny or something? I must have missed the joke.
08-12-2005, 05:04 PM
I laughed pretty damn hard! Love the guy slamming into the van. Damn hilarious.
Everyone already got the points I was going to make.
You should do webisodes of this like you did with Moustache Chronicles. Loved the characters and bizzare non-sequiters.
I really liked the one shot in the car where Agent Brown tells the main guy to shut up and it cuts to a jarring angle. I thought it really worked well for a good laugh.
Oh, I like the ending, as well. I think it works with a sudden end.
08-12-2005, 07:19 PM
Let's see here... I liked what I saw. It was entertaining and I liked the ending.
I thought it was going to go a certain way then Whammo,,, credits... now my imagination has to pick it up and films that leave a question or scenario in your head to figure out is better than one with all the answers. I sat there with the same look on my face as did the character...
08-12-2005, 09:16 PM
so was the sound of the glasses hitting the pavement deliberate, or used to cover up the fact that she didn't have the glasses in the next shot?
LOGAN L Productions
08-13-2005, 12:26 PM
Knightly: That sound was actually Sonia folding the glasses. She did it in both shots so you hear it twice. I will resume tweaking next week to remove all of the bugs, and the alternate ending will also be made available!