ok, ok....i realise this is VERY off topic.
but this is a serious question.

"WHO WOULD WIN IN A WAR - BADGER OR HAMSTER?"

i am really not kidding.
what would happen?

A badger would destroy a hamster. A badger is much bigger, a wild animal and has claws.

This reminds me of an ongoing debate my friends have: Who would win, a wolverine or a bear? I say bear, but my friend insists the smaller, more agile and agressive wolverine would win.

I guess there's only one way to find out...

ah, but t shipley, badgers get tired very quickly, and they are blind (i think). also, i heard a rumour they are pacifists.
i am with you on the bear by the by. i mean, come on, even if the wolverine does him over, the bear will just fall on him.

sorry - i forgot to specify which type of hamster -
the Russian white. the kind with the red eyes. just in case you were wondering....i hope that clears the issue

sorry - i forgot to specify which type of hamster -
the Russian white.

Would this be after he transported the coconut to the UK?

Poke

LMAO!!
But the Russian white hamster is non-migratory!

Only during the winter they are.

Poke

You see - he is clever hamster. the fight would have to take place on his turf, and he knows Russia like the back of his hairy, lethal palm.
despite how silly this seems
this is a serious line of inquiry - i want to know what you seriously think.

I dunno- I had a hamster once. It crawled into the heating vent for our apartment. 3 days later it came waddling out, burnt and singed... but alive. Then it had babies and ate two of them... Oh Hammy...

I put my money on the hamster.

3 days later it came waddling out

cocky little thing. it knows its dangerous.


Then it had babies and ate two of them... Oh Hammy...

cold hearted killer. survival of the fittest. thats the way of the hamster.

Mind telling us why you would like to know? Is it for a project?

Poke

I think he's secretly making a film about a badger and hamster for the competition...
First Bum fights, then American Idol, now this... will the mayhem ever end?

ok, ok....i realise this is VERY off topic.
but this is a serious question.

"WHO WOULD WIN IN A WAR - BADGER OR HAMSTER?"

i am really not kidding.
what would happen?

You haven't provided enough information to accurately answer this question.

First of all is it a civil war, one where they share tea and crumpets? Or perhaps a World War?

Does the Hamster have Nuclear capabilities? What kind of Navy do they have? Will the war be fought in Spring, summer, fall or winter?

Will it be Marques of Queensbury rules? 10 ounce gloves or 14 ounce gloves? An outdoor ring, or an indoor ring? Vegas or Madison Square garden?

But without that information, I'd go with the badger EVERY time. Badger's can kill people, did you ever hear of someone being killed by a hamster?

Chris

My grandmother was bitten by a hamster and she fell down the stairs... never saw it coming either... it broke out of it's ball and just crept slowly up to her ankles... the fall didn't even kill her... it was the venom from the bite...

Mind telling us why you would like to know?

not at all.

Is it for a project?

Yes. It is for a short story. Also it is something for the toilets at my University. Hold on. I mean the toilets of the History building are covered in graffiti - this being one of the questions that currently has the department up in arms. Its got everyone from undergraduates, cleaners, professors, doctors, intellectuals - everyone is thinking up answers to scribble down the next time they are on the toilet (literally). It has become the biggest question in History. Also it (may be, may not be) one of the ways of introducing characters in my script (their replies when on the toilet).

My grandmother

I am very sorry for your loss. When they go mad, the most humane thing to do is to just put them down.


I am talking about the hamster.

Did he have a leap a mile long?

And nasty sharp pointy teeth!!

And nasty sharp pointy teeth!!

HAhaha! Now THAT is a great low budget movie :D

Mind telling us why you would like to know?

not at all.

Is it for a project?

Yes. It is for a short story. Also it is something for the toilets at my University. Hold on. I mean the toilets of the History building are covered in graffiti - this being one of the questions that currently has the department up in arms. Its got everyone from undergraduates, cleaners, professors, doctors, intellectuals - everyone is thinking up answers to scribble down the next time they are on the toilet (literally). It has become the biggest question in History. Also it (may be, may not be) one of the ways of introducing characters in my script (their replies when on the toilet).

If I didn't know that you were from England I'd swear you were attending University of California at Berkley!

And Spatula, I didn't know we were talking about SUPER hamsters...that's another story all together!

:lol:

Chris

Super hamsters. Is there any other kind?

Yes!?! The Russian White! We've been through this already Spatula........sheeesh

I'd have to go with the badger in this battle. A hamster might be more fierce and smaller, but one swat from the badger could easily take the hamster out.

Poke

That's what you think, but look at the facts. Do you remember Godzilla 2000? You know, the recently fantasic remake of the old series. I'm not talking about the Matthew Broderick version either- this one was Japanese, and in the style of the old movies (giant rubber men in kleenex box cities).
Now, Godzilla was up against an alien here, who was able to replicate Godzilla's "Regenerator G" chromosome, which allowed him to quickly heal from impact. With the more advanced technology, and godzilla's power, all to himself, the humans knew there would be no option- the bigger, badder monster would defeat godzilla.
But when the monster put godzilla's head in his mouth, in an attempt to swallow, Godzilla unleashed his firey breath, explosing the monster from the INSIDE.
Then, after Godzilla eats the secretary-general of defense for Japan, he resumes destroying the city.
A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, why does Godzilla keep saving us?"
Her father responds: "Well... Maybe there is a little Godzilla in us all."

So you see- that proves the Hamster would win! Although the badger is bigger and meaner, the hamster would just lunge down the throat of his adversary and release his firey breath, exploding the badger from the inside.
Hamsters are notorious for lodging themselves in places, it's in thier instinct. It's what they do. That's why they call them Hamsters.

-Logan-


BTW- all that Godzilla stuff is absolutly true- see the movie, it's a riot.

My money is on http://www.stevenrichards.com/images/smiley_badger.gif

Yes, Nique, I have a few questions as well.

1) What weight class?

2) What venue and how far above sea level is it?

3) Either one wearing emerald green shorts?

4) Which side is God on? (because I'm a betting woman)

ok
1) any weight class - badgers and hamsters don't judge potential combatants according to weight to according to the anger in their eyes. Anger in eyes is a concept. Anger in eyes is weightless.
2) It is a global fight (some may take it to space). It is a fight transcending country, cultures and continents. Under sea, above sea, beyond sea - its all kicking off everywhere
3) all fights take place naked in my fights. its a rule i had to learn at a young age.
4) The God in this day and age is a calculating one and is waiting til he finds out the winner before he declares his love/hate for hamster/badger. Both sides say they do not need him, leaving him with one really really really BIG red face.

Thank you, Nique. Contingent upon the Badger being a southpaw, I'm betting a hundred Hamsters it'll be a sixth round TKO.

1) any weight class - badgers and hamsters don't judge potential combatants according to weight to according to the anger in their eyes. Anger in eyes is a concept. Anger in eyes is weightless.

Have you EVER looked into the eyes of a hamster (and lived to tell the tale)??
Those black beady eyes are constantly plotting, searching, brooding... waiting... patiently waiting...
The anger is there, under a constant veil of evil solitude and dark nothingness.

2) It is a global fight (some may take it to space). It is a fight transcending country, cultures and continents. Under sea, above sea, beyond sea - its all kicking off everywhere

Hamsters were the first colonists of space. This is a little known fact. Who do you think designed space stations? They have an uncanny resemblance to Hamster colonies on Earth....

3) all fights take place naked in my fights. its a rule i had to learn at a young age.

Hamsters are born naked. No fur, no sweat. They are bred for one purpose- killing things while naked.

4) The God in this day and age is a calculating one and is waiting til he finds out the winner before he declares his love/hate for hamster/badger. Both sides say they do not need him, leaving him with one really really really BIG red face.

God is dead. A hamster killed him.


With all these facts put in front of us, the answer emerges.


-Logan-

1) any weight class - badgers and hamsters don't judge potential combatants according to weight to according to the anger in their eyes. Anger in eyes is a concept. Anger in eyes is weightless.

Have you EVER looked into the eyes of a hamster (and lived to tell the tale)??
Those black beady eyes are constantly plotting, searching, brooding... waiting... patiently waiting...
The anger is there, under a constant veil of evil solitude and dark nothingness.

2) It is a global fight (some may take it to space). It is a fight transcending country, cultures and continents. Under sea, above sea, beyond sea - its all kicking off everywhere

Hamsters were the first colonists of space. This is a little known fact. Who do you think designed space stations? They have an uncanny resemblance to Hamster colonies on Earth....

3) all fights take place naked in my fights. its a rule i had to learn at a young age.

Hamsters are born naked. No fur, no sweat. They are bred for one purpose- killing things while naked.

4) The God in this day and age is a calculating one and is waiting til he finds out the winner before he declares his love/hate for hamster/badger. Both sides say they do not need him, leaving him with one really really really BIG red face.

God is dead. A hamster killed him.


With all these facts put in front of us, the answer emerges.


-Logan-

I'll end it here...been wanting to say this, but had more strength before!

If a hamster isn't even strong enough to fight it's way out of Richard Gere's you know what, how the heck do you think they'll take on a BADGER! :rolleyes:

Chris

It was a gerbil, fool... a hamster would have easily made his way out, with Gere's colon in his gnashing fangs.

Is this a straight fight between A badger and A hamster or more of a gang war type of deal?

One on one it is badger every single time, but hamsters are cunning and it's well known in the world of hamsterology that they hunt in packs, throwing themselves in wave after wave against the largest of foes. In this manner they have been know to bring down elks, bears and even the mighty giraffe is no match for their fury.

Not only this, but I have heard on the grapevine that hamsters are forming a strageic alliance with the guinea-pigs and chincillas. If this is true, no animal will be safe!

I have heard on the grapevine that hamsters are forming a strageic alliance with the guinea-pigs and chincillas.

the only thing that keeps us on top of the 'animal table of power' is that we have rational capabilities. if what you hear is true then perhaps our esteemed place is almost up. Enjoy it while you can everyone.

Today is the last day of the age of man; tomorrow is the first of the age of the hamster.

My university doubles up as a massive campus, and on it is this man made 'The Environment' where they have hords of hamsters. In the first week me and a friend got lost at night, and found ourselves face to face with ten hamsters. I did what any rational man would do.

I offered my life to the hamsters. They declined. They know that I will be a useful mechanism in the upcoming battle of epochs. Their minds are growing...

Thank god... I thought I was alone in this presumption... now there's proof..

Is there something we can do? Surely we can't be doomed?

Wait... I have a solution. Everyone- go to your nearest Vaccuum shop and stock up on tube-suction vaccuums. We won't go down without a furry fight.

This is a call to arms against the Hamster. We'll suck thier furry little bunions up... and teach the badgers the ways and techniques of the lesser (but greater still) rodent, so they may fight at our side.

This is war, people. War like we have never known war before.

There is a glimmer of hope, here: http://www.hamsterland.com/default.asp?cat=dis&con=0

Read this. Not only will you gain insight as to the tools we need to defeat the hamster meanace, but you will be thoroughly amused at how many times "hamster" "anus" and "diarrhea" are used in the same sentance.



-Logan-

What if the hamster is armed?

http://snapsblog.com/i/285/snaps__hamster_holding_a-plastic-machine-gun.jpg

What if the hamster is armed?

:lol:

Looks like the Badgers may be first against the wall, when the Hamster revolution arrives.

What if the hamster is armed?

http://snapsblog.com/i/285/snaps__hamster_holding_a-plastic-machine-gun.jpg


it appears to have a weapon as a left eye. thats no hamster. thats a fake hamster!
you fraud King Gold, its clear that you have drawn a line in the sand when it comes to sides in this.
Now the Goldfish have joined the hamsters!They just need something in the air to complete the circle of nature.....

I have found the missing link.

http://img223.exs.cx/img223/7499/birdattacka1qk.jpg

(that dude is probably bird food now)

The army is amassing. Hamsters, Goldfish and Hawks. Land, Sea and Air.

We're doomed.


-Logan-

Well Crap...
*mikey d says while cowering under his desk*

and to think I placed my allience with the roaches. I thought for sure they would be the ones taking over the world.

They sure were taking over my first apartment.

Neither the Badgers nor the Hamsters were prepared, when the kittens started "voting from the rooftops."

Enter third party! Maybe there must be a Hamster-Badger Alliance to deal with this new common foe?

http://www.stevenrichards.com/temp/sniper_cat.jpg

http://img220.exs.cx/img220/4640/27294gw.th.jpg (http://img220.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img220&image=27294gw.jpg)

There is no need for an alliance... for they have... the GOPHERNATOR. (aka Governer Gophernator)

-Logan-

my badger turned into a red x :(

::curses::

He was terminated by the Hamster Coalition.
The war has already begun.

They already got this guy.

http://www.dumpalink.com/i/u/hG1XUS5t.jpg

Poke

Holy happening harribo!its a free for all!!!

E-gad!

my badger turned into a red x :(

::curses::

me and a friend were out last night at 3am....:weird:...walking....... and we came across a badger (me thinks) and it stared at me. no, it stared right through me, as though before its very eyes it could see my beginnings and my end, as though inside its mind my fate was already decided.
then, I swear, it smiled.
if what you say about them being able to turned into boxes.....then i think that perhaps they may already rule over us, why only just now, my keyboard is starting to feel a little hairy. and the mouse is looking at me..... :weird:

If only the badgers and hamsters could learn to sing, altogether now

"megalothymia and isothymia working together in perfect harmony"

no double posting! are you mocking me....
you are! you are mocking me!

ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, you'll get yours

If only the badgers and hamsters could learn to sing, altogether now

"megalothymia and isothymia working together in perfect harmony"


took a sec but I got it :D

HAHAH interrelated threads are funny

for those with a slight interest (and if you are not, shame on you)- a final tally has been made of votes casted by doctors and students alike. the hamsters were thoroughly defeated by the badgers.
so there we have it.

NOOOOOO!!!!
Not my precious furry hamsters! I'll get you badgers! I'LL GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!

...once the Hamster-Badger war is at hand, will we not, my bretheren, be in need of a battle hymn?
How about "Hamsters On Parade" by Rage Against The Badgers? :D

--spinner :cool:

I think this is their victory song, right here (http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com). http://www.stevenrichards.com/images/smiley_badger.gif

....oh, my god......you are insane.....make it stop....aarrgghh!

--spinner