http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/HTTK2/NB.jpg

The time has come for my next movie to be online! :D This is Chapter 1 of the serial I'm planning to do.
It's a film noir based in the 40's/50's. The story involves Detective Jack Gibson taking a murder case about a madman who has gotten his hands on some radium and plans to use it. Along the way Jack runs into Jasmine Clover, a sultry vixen he once knew. Can he withstand her advances and get to the radium in time before all is lost?

Starring Andy Venneman as Jack Gibson
Brooke Willhite as Jasmine Clover
Rick Stafford as Victor Scott


Enjoy guys!

Been waiting for this a long time!

Will be the first thing I watch, when I get home from the office tonight.

Oh, and hello http://www.stevenrichards.com/images/smiley_fatcat.gif !!

:cool:

_______

Edit:

Huzzah! Is pretty good, Mr King!

The sound is a bit poppy with words that start with P, B or T though.

Looks like you had lots of fun with some smoke-machines, too.

Only thing I don't get is the following:

How does the detective make the connection to Jasmine, to begin with, at the beginning?

Best scene is the "flashback" :lol:

Thanks alot Zen for watching! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it. I PMed you about the spoiler part. ;)

Dear Hail,
i am a big fan of film noir (as much as i am a fan of anything) and really would love to see this, only problem is i don't have QT and can't download it.
is there any possibility of it being avaliable in wmp any time?
cheers, nique.

He can embed it if he wants.

Nique yeah I'll make a Windows Media file and embed it just for you! :D Just give me a few days to do that.

Nique yeah I'll make a Windows Media file and embed it just for you! :D Just give me a few days to do that.

thank you so very much! I am well up for this one.:woohoo:

Hi there, King. When should we start teasing them about Chapter Two?
:)

Is part two already in the can?

SD, hey! I was wondering when you would find this place. Welcome aboard. I think you'll like it here. Alot of nice people here. I think we'll start teasing them with pictures of our next female actress... :P

no peeking Zen!

no peeking Zen!

I'm sure I don't know what you mean! http://www.stevenrichards.com/images/smiley_banjo.gif

So who is this mysterious SD...

...and when am I going to get cast in a Philips' Film?

Well, you definitely have the noirish lighting down. Loved the shots in the club.

The sound was muted at a few points, and some of the dialogue was hard to hear.

One thing that bugged me: what time period are we set in here? I see all the cars are from the forties or fifties (impressive), but in the opening scene the pool is obviously modern.

Poke

I was wondering the same thing Poke what time period is it in?

Zen, If you shoot yourself against blue screen, I'll put in you one of the next movies! :) Maybe I'll even put you next to a pretty girl. How would that be? :lol:

About the time period, we're doing an era. We're not in 1945 or 1959, it's an era piece. Almost like a stylistic view of those time periods, late 30's 40's and 50's. I didn't want to put a DATE on the film, it would limit us with what we could do.

About the pool, you try finding a 50's pool that's still in operation. LOL Also if your paying attention to the "modern" pool setting, then your not paying attention to the story of that scene and what it's setting up. :P Bad Poke.

Maybe I'll even put you next to a pretty girl. How would that be?

Deal! http://www.stevenrichards.com/images/smiley_fatpig.gif

According to the file, the character that was killed in the beginning was born in 1928, so that should tell you the time period. I saw a few modern cars slip in, like a mini-van at the club, and some semi-trucks on a lot, and in the background there were late model cars sometimes, but overall is was nicely done. Needs a good sound mix, you can hear where you chopped the dialogue tracks. Good lighting, excellent composition, some of the edits cutting to action were too quick, like the punch, and then he is laying on the ground. Good work :)

About the pool, you try finding a 50's pool that's still in operation. LOL Also if your paying attention to the "modern" pool setting, then your not paying attention to the story of that scene and what it's setting up. :P Bad Poke.

Any normal in ground pool would fit, not to mention most lap pools at the local YMCA.

I would argue that the fact that the modern pool distracts the viewer from the scene is not the fault of the viewer.

Poke

Thanks indie for the nice comments! :) Thanks for watching and enjoying. I think some of the sound is muddled in the compression. I worked hours on the sound. But of course it would be much easier if I had someone to just help me out with it. :P There are always room for improvment with anything you do. With this piece we'll be able to as well, we still got 4 more chapters to go.

Poke, Remember you are a filmmaker. You will notice and be more picky then the audience will be. I'm the same way sometimes. Thanks for watching by the by. ;)

Watched it again.

I don't mean to be negative. But the thing with the pool , while minor, can be distracting. I would contend that it's a bit more obvious than something only a filmmaker would notice.

Anyway, you have some nicely composed shots (especially the smoke in the lamp) and it's a fun little short.

Poke

Some very nicley lit scenes. The pool did throw me off a little, but it's ok. Overall very well done. The smoke in the light was the best shot.

I applaud anyone's effort for making a movie I guess that's why I keep coming back here. There are some talented people making the effort and I dig that. So I thought I would put in my two cents in the screening room before I submit my creations for the chopping block. :)

That being said I enjoyed the music. It went well with what was going on screen. Your lead actor who played Jack Gibson did a good job. I think he captured that 40's detective voice well and played it through to the end. The sound has been mentioned before and is one of the hardest things to get right...unfortunately. I apologize but the story was lost on me. Could be because I'm was watching it in between work. :(

Overall good effort, I can't wait see your improvement of the course of the next three (?) chapters.

Oh and I thought the pin up girls was a great way to keep people (me) tuned in to the final credits...nice touch. :lol:

Rick

Instead of knocking the film and the efforts of the film maker and the actors, why don't you try to say something positive and uplifting. Remember that these people had little to no-budget, so they got by with what they could, and put very hard work into this, and if i may say so they did a very good job! The actors were very well the part, and the atmosphere was convincing. All and all i would give this film a big fat 10 for effort! Keep up the good work Cohen! ;)

I don't see anyone knocking anything, I see constructive criticism and honest reviews.

Instead of knocking the film and the efforts of the film maker and the actors, why don't you try to say something positive and uplifting. Remember that these people had little to no-budget, so they got by with what they could, and put very hard work into this, and if i may say so they did a very good job! The actors were very well the part, and the atmosphere was convincing. All and all i would give this film a big fat 10 for effort! Keep up the good work Cohen! ;)

I don't think anyone is knocking the film. :huh:

The general consesus has been that it's a great short. There have been a few technical issues mentioned, but that is to be expected when previewing it to a group of fellow filmmakers.

Cohen has a talented team of people that he works with (many regulars, too) and can pull off very entertaining flicks with low budgets. It really is astonishing what he keeps producing, with the resources he has.

If there is any value in the constructive criticism presented so far, it is certainly with the best intention of aiding him to become even better at what he does... which is to make great flicks. :cool:

_______

P.S. Ms. Brooke is hot http://www.stevenrichards.com/images/smiley_fatcat.gif

I have a feeling that was directed at me. For my pool comments.

I was being constructive in my criticsim, and I think Hail knows that. I appreciate the fact that this was a no-budget production being that all of my work up to this point would be considered no-budget. I commended him on what I thought was good about the film and pointed out what I thought needed work. Simple as that.

Also, I have ET in my avatar. That means I am pure of heart...and have a glowing finger.

Poke

First off, I didn't take any offensive to what you all said. I consider you all my friends and wouldn't change that for the world. I like feedback. Good or bad. It helps me grow. And with this film series the good thing about it is, that it doesn't end here with chapter 1. We got 4 more to go. I can really apply what you guys have said (and others) to the next one and make improvments. 98 precent of the film I already know all the flaws of the film, as I've seen it tons and tons of times. But I want to share my work with everyone and see what they like, what's working, what doesn't. It's all about doing good work and most important...HAVING FUN! :D Thank you all for watching and enjoying this film. :) Thanks Roxy for being such a strong fan as well. :cool:

Rick- I'm glad you liked the music. The music is almost a character in itself. Rich Douglas did an amazing job. Also alittle fact here, the score is in tribute to the late-great Jerry Goldsmith. Next time listen to it you can hear the little things Rich has put in there to Mr. Goldsmith. It was like a week after his death when Rich got the movie to score and we desided it would be a fitting tribute to someone who's work we both loved. For the rest of the facts...you'll have to buy the DVD! :lol:

asylum- Yes you and others have said that they really like that shot. I would have to say it's my one of my fav shots in the movie as well! :D It's just....neat to look at over and over again.

Wow. Exellent. The lighting was great, the concept was interesting. I especially liked the ending confrontation. However the audio was popping alot. What model camera did you use?

Also, my advise for chapter 2: As as a fellow screenwriter, I advise you to avoid any cliched lines; i.e. reffering to her boss as "master". Corny-esque lines can distract the audience, and though you did a good job of avoiding many, there were still a few.

To ANYONE who writes or wants to write screenplays, I HIGHLY RECCOMEND "What are You Laughing at?" -by Brad Schreiber. Although the content caontains alot of methods for humorous writing, it also contains priceless information and gives you all the tools you need to craft a captivating screenplay for any genre.

And finally, everyone writing should just listen. Observe how people talk. What do they say casually? What do people never say in reality but only in movies? It truly helps your dialogue. But if you can condense the visuals, you can avoid dialogue, which is very helpful.

So again, Good Job! Great idea, I loved it. My favorite shot was in the last scene when he is tied up. I liked the lighting design, it was pretty cool.

Hope it helps,
Steve McDonald

P.S. Again, what camera model did you use.

HTTK--I am trying to watch your movie, but I am getting a "The page cannot be found" error. Has it been moved, or am I missing something...?

Okay--I got it tonight. You did a great job with this! I really enjoyed it. you obviously went through a great deal of effort to get the period look. I liked the camera angles, and there were a few simple images that stood out -- Jasmine's feet coming down the stairs, the burglar running through the puddle, and of course, the smoke in the light. I thought the whole movie was a little to dark, but that could have something to do with my monitor settings. Looking forward to Part 2 !!!