watch Second Short Film - Feedback appreciated

Hey guys, I posted a trailer of this on here a while ago. Anyway, as with most of my videos I'm not quite proud of this one, but I'd still like to hear what you guys think just to see if there's something you noticed that I didn't. Also, as a note I'd just like to say that this was a one-man-show project done without any equipment besides the camera and a microphone. I'm not saying that as an excuse but more of a reminder so that you don't post replies about the technical aspects of the film that could have been better (like lighting or audio, etc.).

UNLESS there is something that I could have fixed with the resources that I had. Obviously if I had more experience, money, etc. I could fix this and that. But I would appreciate comments that point out something that I could have fixed through practical means.

Anyway, enough about that, haha. Just watch and let me know what you think. Thanks guys!

Shattered Woods Short Film

Not too shabby at all.

Could have used a tripod in several spots. Didn't quite understand the skipping frames in several places, too. In some spots it seemed appropriate. In others, just random.

Cool story idea. Here's what could have been easily fixed for nuthin'.

1) Better actors. It was painfully obvious that one in particular was no actor; Lord bless 'im for helping out, but with a small amount of effort (and ham sammiches on set) you can get really good actors who'll make your project shine. Take the time to cast them.

2) Wardrobe. We see he's been lost in the woods for 71 days. In his diary. His pristine smudge-free fresh-from-the-store diary. That diary should be beat up, mangled, torn, grubby & filthy. Ditto for the dude's clothes and beanie. And face. And hair.

3) Location / Art Dept. Kinda relates to previous, but that was the most comfortable living-room style of CIA interrogation/debrief center I've seen in a while. Raid a local garage sale, or Craigslist, or FreeCycle for suitable room deco.

All of the above will cost you next to nothing, and dramatically improve your film. Same for really refining the script, as well, but that comes with time.

I dug it, overall. It's not gonna win an Oscar, but it was better than my first flick, so there ya go.

What's next?

.

Zensteve said:

Not too shabby at all.

Could have used a tripod in several spots. Didn't quite understand the skipping frames in several places, too. In some spots it seemed appropriate. In others, just random.

Cool story idea. Here's what could have been easily fixed for nuthin'.

1) Better actors. It was painfully obvious that one in particular was no actor; Lord bless 'im for helping out, but with a small amount of effort (and ham sammiches on set) you can get really good actors who'll make your project shine. Take the time to cast them.

2) Wardrobe. We see he's been lost in the woods for 71 days. In his diary. His pristine smudge-free fresh-from-the-store diary. That diary should be beat up, mangled, torn, grubby & filthy. Ditto for the dude's clothes and beanie. And face. And hair.

3) Location / Art Dept. Kinda relates to previous, but that was the most comfortable living-room style of CIA interrogation/debrief center I've seen in a while. Raid a local garage sale, or Craigslist, or FreeCycle for suitable room deco.

All of the above will cost you next to nothing, and dramatically improve your film. Same for really refining the script, as well, but that comes with time.

I dug it, overall. It's not gonna win an Oscar, but it was better than my first flick, so there ya go.

What's next?

.

Click to expand...

Thanks Steve, I completely agree with everything you said. And yeah, I assume the actor you are talking about is the interviewer? Haha, yeah he was a last minute arrangement because the other guy couldn't make it, but he did alright for short notice. He actually is the owner of the bank in my town (of 400 people, which explains the limited choices for casting, haha).

One thing I'm excited about is that I'm going to move to Kansas City next year, so I will be near the KC Art Institute and should be able to make some connections and find people to help out (actors, sound people, etc.)

And yeah, we only thought about the scruffy look halfway through, and by then it was too late.

One of the biggest lessons learned for me is the HUGE importance of preproduction. I really need to nail a story down frame by frame first, and then I can start working out details like props, continuity, whatnot.
I tend to rush in too fast, because I get excited about my ideas.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback, it means a lot!

Edit: as for 'What's next?'
I think I'm going to try and focus on cinematography and writing, since I don't quite have the equipment for good sound or lighting (though I will try to be creative with that) and I just bought myself a glidecam. YEAH! Haha, I will probably try some music videos, and I have a couple very short film ideas.

Double Edit (thinking too fast): and the skipping frames was actually because I was stupid and didn't get enough angles or takes of certain scenes and they dragged on for too long. So instead of just making hard cuts in those places that might be too jarring, I made it part of the style throughout the film.