[test] IndieTalk.com Screenplay

rizien

rizien

The other thread about the "Wiki" screenplay has been around for a little while. And i figured if someone didnt take action, nothing would get done. So here :

Each post you add a scene. The poster after you adds onto it, and eventually we get a movie. So dont post just discussing, make another thread if you want to discuss it. This thread is strictly for additions to the IndieTalk screenplay. DISCUSSION THREAD http://indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=12683#post12683

If you post messing around or just screwing it up, I'm sure the Mods will delete it, if not I'll ask them to. And by mess/screw it up i mean stupid stuff like "LOLLERS POKE PUT ON A SHIRT AM I RITE?" (we all remember that fool dont we? :D ) Or writing out a scene in the format but....with ridiculous content. For example :

INT. GAY BAR
In the back room we see CommanderGoat popping pills that raise his estrogen level, so that he can finally complete his transformation from male to female! laffo!

(info on the backstory/inside joke is in this thread http://indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=4678 )

Try to use real script format. Doesn't have to be exact, but try to use atleast INT. or EXT. when describing locations, for example : INT. RIZIEN'S ROOM.

Use Indent for actions, center for speech. (dont use quickreply to write these)

And lets use Courier New for the font, type this before and after you're script
*FONT=Courier New]
SCENE
*/FONT]

Where * = [ (you all know the code...[] )

Here are some(not all) common Screenplay Abbreviations:

B.G. = Background
F.G. = Foreground
P.O.V.= Point of View
V.O. = Voice Over
INT. = Interior
EXT. = Exterior
SFX. = Sound Effects (ie. SFX: The BLAST of a train whistle )
SPFX = Special Effects (Only when you KNOW you need SPFX, like "Rizien becomes a super ferret, and stomps on the evil ZENWEASEL!)
CGI = Computer Generated Image, basically the same usage as SPFX...


Other than that...lets get creative.

Summary of Rules:
1. One scene at a time.
2. No Discussion
3. Serious contributions only
4. Be creative and have fun!
 
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INT. OFFICE
We see two young men in suits talking to a MAN at the desk. The MAN is turned around, all you can see is the back of his chair.​

YOUNG MAN 1​
I'm sorry sir, it wont happen again. I promise.​

YOUNG MAN 2 just nods with his head down and his hands behind his back. MAN turns around in his swivel chair, and has a long scar going down his Left Eye.​

MAN​
You're right. It wont!​

MAN pulls out a shotgun and blasts the buckshot round into YOUNGMAN 1's chest. YOUNG MAN 2 looks over in shock, he's speechless.​

MAN​
to YOUNG MAN 2 Go on, get out of here, you know what you have to do.​

YOUNG MAN 2 hurries out of the room, shutting the door behind him.​

 


EXT. CORN FIELD - DAY

The young man is dressed in overalls and a blue and red flannel shirt. He looks up and sheilds his eyes from the glare of the sun. He looks at his watch.

INSERT

His watch reads 1:04 PM.

In the distance, we begin to hear the hum of a single engine plane. The young man looks in the direction the hum is coming from. The sound gets louder and we can now see a small spec against the brilliant blue sky. As the plane draws closer, the young man begins to wave his arms in the air, signaling the pilot.

The plane flies over head.

INT. PLANE - SAME

The PILOT sits in the cockpit. Through his POV we see the young man in the middle of the vast corn field. He chuckles at the young man's over emphatic arm waving.

PILOT​
(under his breath)​
Like I couldn't see your shirt from a mile away.​

The pilot reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out an envelope. He holds it out of a small window on the side of the cockpit and drops it.

EXT. CORN FIELD - SAME

The young man eys the small, flittering, white object until it reaches the ground. He begins running in the direction where it fell to earth.

EXT. FARM - DAY

We are in the back yard of a rural Farm House.

The envelope is sitting in front of the opening of a large dog house. In the opening of the dog house sits a St. Bernard. The dog is eyeing the envelope with only the smallest amount of interest.

The young man comes slowly out of the corn field. He moves to the envelope. The dog lets out a small puff from the side of it's mouth, a lazy dog's excuse for a bark. The young man smiles at the dog and picks up the envelope. He pats the dog's head, and the dog let's out another puff.

He begins to walk away when a man's voice from off camera bellows out.

FARMER (O.C.)​
This here's private property, Mister.​

In one swift move, the young man turns and draws a 9mm Beretta.

The FARMER is standing on the back steps of the house. He begins to mutter something, but the young man puts two bullets in his chest before a sound comes out of his mouth. The farmer falls back against the door jam and slides down into a crouch. He grabs at his bloody chest, takes a last hitching breath, and keels over dead - half in the door, half on the steps.

The young man's steady face is betrayed by his shakey gun hand. He wipes at his brow even though there is no sweat. A scream comes from the house.

FARMER'S WIFE (O.C.)​
(frantic)​
Charles!?​

The young man mutters a curse under his breath. He walks into the house, stepping over the body of the farmer.

From inside we hear screams of confusion which turn to screams of outright terror. Then we hear two gun shots and the screams stop.

After a moment, the young man stumbles hurriedly out of the door. He runs for the corn field, but doesn't make it before he vomits. He takes a moment to steady himself then walks slowly back into the corn field.

As he passes the dog houses, the St. Bernard let's out another of it's lazy puffs.
 
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INT. SMALL PARKING GARAGE - DUSK
YOUNGMAN2 enters through closed stair well door running to a CAR. CAR is a Delta 88. YOUNGMAN2 has trouble with car keys due to his shaking hands. He opens the trunk to display 2 five gallon gas cans and a large duffle bag. He shuts the trunk and walks to the driver side hastly.

CU on KEYS and YOUNGMAN2(YM2) fumbles with them and finally inserts key into driverside lock.

MS Outside rear driver side of car - YM2 enters the car.

From inside the car we see YM2 fumble with keys trying to insert them into the ignition. He stops, puts the keys on the dash and places both hands on the wheel.

MCU from passenger side PAN to driverside keeping YM2 in focus and centered. We see YM2's expression change from a scared, almost ready to cry, desparate look to that of a calmish angry look durring the PAN

CU Keys on dash as they are removed

CU Keys calmly inserted into ignition

CU Glove box opened and trunk release depressed

MS Outside rear driver side of car - Car door opens, YM2 exits car and walks to partially opened trunk

WS Show 5 cars parked next to eachother including YM2s car. YM2 opens the trunk all the way. He takes out each 5 gal. gas can one at a time and places them beside the car. He unscrewes both of the caps and places them on the ground next to the gas cans.

MCU of trunk, show duffle bag being pulled closer to the trunk latch. YM2 unzips the bag and open it to display the contents

CU contents of duffel bag. 2 MAC10s, 1 Sawed off Shotgun, Shotgun ammo, 6 double clips for MAC10, neatly folded dark green trench coat.

MS from behind car YM2 remove MAC10 and slings it over right shoulder. remove MAC10 and slings it over left shoulder. remove Shotgun and slings it over right shoulder. Slowly and neatly removes trench coat.

Carefully unfolds coat and gives it one shake. Then slowly and gracefully puts the trench coat on. From an inside pocket he removes sunglasses and dons them. He then reaches in the car and loads the shotgun with 2 shells. Then he grabs 2 MAC10 doubleclips and loads the MAC10s he grabs the other 4 clips and puts them inside his trench coat.

WS PAN to follow YM2 as he traveles from the car to the staiwell door which he ran in from. YM2 picks up the 2 gas cans, one in each hand, and walks to the stairwell door.

CU door. YM2 opens the door. SEE inside down a short hallway to a door straight ahead. 2 hall ways on either side to the right ad left. YM2 places the gas cans on the floor and knocks each one over allowing the gasoline to spill down the right and left hallways. He continues straight ahead through the door where we see an office and straight ahead is a desk with a chair turned around. MAN turns around to face YM2. YM2 shoots MAN twice with the shotgun.

YOUNG MAN 2
You're right B.R. I just did what I had to do. Nobody fucks with me or my family.
(Grabs something off the desk and puts it in his pocket)

EDDIE (V.O.) getting closer, hear his footsteps running closer.

B.R., B.R.,
​

YM2 Turns around and readies his 2 MAC10's as he starts walking back towards the parking garage.

EDDIE (V.O.) getting closer, hear his footsteps running closer.

What the hell's going o....
(EDDIE gets to the hall and sees what happened and that there are 2 MAC10s pointed at him.)

YOUNG MAN 2
Eddie, don't try anything. Just go.

EDDIE
What the fuck, man!

YOUNG MAN 2
Eddie, you've always been good to me, just go...... Please just get in your car and go.
​

EDDIE runs towards the camera and to his car. YM2 continues to the Parking Garage door and stops. Keeps the MAC10 in his right hand and grabs the object from his pocket with his left hand.

MCU YM2 holds up a Zippo LIGHTER engraved with B.R. on it and lights it.

CU face YM2
YOUNG MAN 2
NO ONE! fucks with me or my family.​

WS YM2 tosses the lighter through the doorway and starts walking to his car. EDDIE backs out hastily and burns rubber to get out of there. See fire erupt from doorway. YM2 casually walks to his car and takes off his trench coat calmly and folds it perfectly.

CU Duffle bag - YM2 places the trench coat in the duffle bag. He then puts the shotgun and 2 MAC10's in the duffel bag then zips it up and closes the trunk.

WS YM2 gets in his already running car and drives away. PAN to follow car and stop on door to show burning interior hallway.

 
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EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT


Headlights illuminate the porch of a small farmhouse. YOUNG MAN 2 paces around near the porch. He is talking on a CELL PHONE


YOUNG MAN 2​
Yes. Not a problem sir. I'm here now, I'll take care of it.​


YOUNG MAN 2 hangs up and tosses his CELL PHONE into the car. He reaches through the passenger window and pops the trunk.​


YOUNG MAN 2​
(To himself)​
Dammit Billy, why do you insist on leaving ​
these messes for me to deal with? ​


YOUNG MAN 2 removes a FLASHLIGHT and a SMALL BAG from the trunk and heads into the house.​

INT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT​


At the base of a stairway in the main hall, YOUNG MAN 2 kneels over the body of the FARMER'S WIFE. A Flashlight lays on the first step pointing at the woman. YOUNG MAN 2 opens the SMALL BAG and removes an EXACTO KNIFE and NEEDLENOSE PLIERS.​


YOUNG MAN 2​
Just once, can't he do something right?​


YOUNG MAN 2 stabs the knife into the woman, enlarging one of the two bullet wounds. He proceeds to dig around in the wound with the pliers, until he finds and removes the bullet. YOUNG MAN 2 now repeats the process on the second bullet wound.​


YOUNG MAN 2 places the extracted bullets into a pouch on the side of the small bag which contains numerous other extracted bullets, and puts the knife and pliers back inside the bag.​


INT. FARMHOUSE BASEMENT - NIGHT​


YOUNG MAN 2 cuts through the gas line feeding the furnace with a large BOLT CUTTER. He tosses the bolt cutter aside, and heads up the stairs.​


INT. FARMHOUSE KITCHEN - NIGHT​


YOUNG MAN 2 washes his hands, and leaves the HOT WATER on. He lights a cigarette.​


EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT​


YOUNG MAN 2 exits the house, drags the FARMER's body back through the door, and exits again. He takes one last puff of his cigarette and flicks it to the ground.​


EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT​


YOUNG MAN 2 drives slowly down the road away from the farm. A SAINT BERNARD rides in the passenger seat, its head hanging out the window.​


INT. CAR - NIGHT​


YOUNG MAN 2 picks up his cell phone and hits redial. ​


YOUNG MAN 2​
Sir. Jack. Yeah, it's done.​


JACK hangs up the phone, and sets it down. He pets the Saint Bernard and continues to drive, with an emotionless face.​


A large fireball erupts into the night sky behind the car. JACK's face slowly changes to a smile, and he tears off down the dirt road.​
 
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Int. Apartment Bedroom-Night

A YOUNG WOMEN is asleep alone in a king size bed. Beside the bed a FEMALE TODDLER stands in a crib looking out the open bedroom door.

A muffled crashing sound wakes the She rolls over and reaches for the night stand. Jack keeps a handgun in the top draw. Before she can reach the overhead light is flipped on. Eddie stands in the doorway.

EDDIE​
Amy, where did Jack hide it?​

AMY​
(shaken)​
Eddie... I don't.... Eddie... What is going on??​

EDDIE​
Amy just tell me where Jack hide it and everything will be fine.​

AMY​
Eddie tell me what's going on​

EDDIE​
Where the FUCK is it.​

AMY​
(getting pissed)​
I don't know what your talking about. Why don't you ask Jack?​

EDDIE​
Do you know where he is?​

AMY​
(quite angry now)​
No! Eddie tell me what is going on.​

EDDIE​
I think your lying to me.​

Eddie pulls a gun out from under his jacket and walks towards the Crib

EDDIE (cont.)​
Now listen to me very carefully...​

Eddie places the muzzle of the gun against the toddlers head

EDDIE (cont.)​
WHERE. DID. HE. HIDE. IT?​

AMY ​
Oh god. oh god. Don't hurt my baby. Please don't hurt my baby​

Amy starts to inch her way towards the night stand.

EDDIE​
I am going to count the three. When I get to three​
you had better have told me where it is.​

AMY​
I don't know​

EDDIE​
One​

AMY​
Oh please, I really don't know​

EDDIE​
Two​

Before Eddie can say three Amy makes a dive for the night stand. Two shots ring out. Amy and the Toddler are dead.

EDDIE​
Son of a bitch. Goddamn son of a bitch.​
 
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