Not sure if this is considered the correct forum, but I was wondering if I could get some feedback:

"After his ex-girlfriend is murdered, a young man is blackmailed by the perpetrator into killing a complete stranger."

might be good, have to throw in a twist though

might be good, have to throw in a twist though

A twist in the story or in the logline?

The story which is relatively short (89 pages) has two major twists that throw both the lives of the protag and antag out of normality.

The one thing thats bugging me about the logline is that Im not sure how to capture the ethical dilemma that the protag deals with throught the story. Should the life of a total stranger be worth more than your happiness and how the remainder of your life plays out?

hmm, nah theres 6 billion people out there, whats one gone that you dont know? :) lol i meant a twist witht the story, i didnt know you actually had a story written out.

Here's a quick easy read on loglines.

http://www.creativecow.net/articles/gregory_browne_rob/logline/

It looks like your one covers the basics well enough... maybe add a few adjectives? As is, it says what needs be said.

hmm, nah theres 6 billion people out there, whats one gone that you dont know? :) lol i meant a twist witht the story, i didnt know you actually had a story written out.

Haha yeah, I have the story completed, and am planning on making it myself. I have an angel investor lined up, but am also looking into indie production companies that have a good track record with regards to festivals, distribution, etc.

can i ask what an angel investor is?

can i ask what an angel investor is?

Sure. Its someone who isnt a producer (could be any regular joe) who agrees to put up some money for the production costs of your film.

ahhh thanks