watch Assassin

I found this idea on the internet and it seemed very interestingly ambiguous. So I decided to make a film... Personally, I don't like the final result, it looks stupid. Anyway, critique and tips are always welcome and will help to improve. Here it goes...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE3GHKSppnM

If I may offer some advice:

Never say this

Crownom said:

Personally, I don't like the final result, it looks stupid.

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When asking people to comment on your movie. I know why
you do it - you hope to diffuse any comments you don't like.
You can say to anyone who says anything negative, "Well I
told you it looks stupid". Making a movie and putting it out
there for other filmmakers to see is scary, it hurts your feelings
if people don't like it. But if you tell everyone that YOU don't
like ti can we really do anything but tell you, "It's not that bad."?
See, you win. But do you learn anything?

Okay, I'm done.

It's not that bad. Since you don't like it I'm not sure what to tell
you. You already know it looks stupid so telling you that won't help.
Why do you think it looks stupid? What can you do to make a movie
are proud to show to us?

Well... It's my honest opinion and I swear I wouldn't use it to defend against your critique. I even had second thoughts about putting it online but it wouldn't be fair because some people are waiting for it. Again, I tried to be objective and I wanted to see your opinion. Since I don't like it, it doesn't mean I'm not open for improvements.

So, what do you think?

Looks ok, I`ve seen exactly the same idea a few days ago however. The only way you are going to get better is to keep filming and post any films so you can get feedback.

The twist at the end caught me by surprise. I thought the guy reading the paper would be the shooter.

I thought it was an interesting film. The guy not noticing a gunman in the open at 50 yards seemed unlikely though. Should have hidden him better.

I don't think saying "I know is bad" is necessarily a bad thing. It's admitting that you know it sucks but I don't think he intentionally did not want people to help him. If he himself knows it sucks then it shows that he's open to criticism. The biggest critic being yourself.

As for the short. The guy that got shot should've fell to his right. Doesn't make sense that the sniper is to the left of him but he falls in the same direction.

Hi, Julius

To make this better... Hmm...

Consider your resources.
There's you and two friends, I'm guessing. That's cool.
You have a camera of sufficient quality and a tripod.
Great.

COMPOSITION
Too many shots have the subject dead centered.
- Dead centered walk toward camera on path
- Dead centered push ups, back to camera
- Dead centered push ups, facing camera
- Dead centered reading paper magazine
- Dead centered close up (CU) of the world's best (under-age) assassin
- An over the shoulder (OTS) shot of a computer screen, dead centered
- A just off-centered CU of the screen
- Dead centered zip up of a black bag
- A just off-centered shot of the world's best assassin walking along a path
- Dead centered shot of said assassin falling to ground (Did he pick his head up a bit at the end? He did, didn't he.)
- Final shot's subject is finally not centered, and perhaps the best composed shot in the piece.

Be mindful of the rule of thirds: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thirds



Gotta change it up.
Throw in there some more camera angles and movement.
http://www.aber.ac.uk/media/Documents/short/gramtv.html





MOVEMENT
There's three of you. You're not chained to the tripod.

Leave the camera attached to it, collapse the last rung of legs, pick the combo up and move around a bit - SOMETIMES.

A few tripod shots are fine.

And for God's sake don't corrupt your mind thinking shaky, epileptic, jitter-cam adds any sort of "authentic grittiness" to anything.
It doesn't.
It just looks like garbage.



STORY
Ah, the sophomoric irony of the voice over misdirecting us to believe the subject in the frame was the same as that of the voice.

The "difficulty" with such is that only an idiotic audience would find that clever.

The audience needs some sense of control.
Give that control by alluding that the film's primary subject is, at times, passing or interacting with other people.
Guess who's watching whom at that point?
Ah-ha!



SFX
Between the dark background and the brevity of the SFX shot itself the whole thing is missed by a cursory viewing.




The piece is only 45seconds long.
Do it again.

Get the other guy in one or two of the other shots doing what looks like nothing.
Maybe Mr. Brown is walking away from us along on that trail in the first shot as Mr. Blonde walks toward us.
Maybe when Mr. Blonde exits his residence with the guitar case Mr. Brown is discretely watching from a parked car.
Chose a background that allows the head-shot to be easily noticeable.


GL

Thank you very much for an indpeth answer!!!
About the movement, I was taught a looot that steady shots are the best which, obviously, affected me Do you really think that I should have more moving shots? (guess, I'll need to buy a steadicam )
As I see, there is a lot to learn and I will do my best in my next film.
Thank you, again!

Crownom said:

Do you really think that I should have more moving shots?

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Yes.

(guess, I'll need to buy a steadicam )

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No.

rayw said:

MOVEMENT
There's three of you. You're not chained to the tripod.

Leave the camera attached to [the tripod], collapse the last rung of legs, pick the combo up and move around a bit - SOMETIMES.

A few tripod shots are fine.

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No need to go running about.
Just a simple carry to the left or carry to the right. Done.

Thanks for the tip!

Haha. Actually, your twist totally caught me off gaurd. I giggled a little bit.

I actually think you shot composition is okay. I do think it could be a little more interesting at times, and I think Ray is wise to point out that a good first step would be for you to do some research on shot composition -- photography 101, basically. Learn the rules, and impliment them, then you can break them whenever you want.

In my opinion, though I do like moving the camera a lot, myself, I actually think you should lock the camera down, just for your next couple of shorts. No pans, tilts, dollies, handheld, zoom, nothin. Just stationary shots. In my opinion, this helps not just with practicing shot composition, but also in learning how to shoot a scene that cuts together well.

I noticed that none of your cuts included any continuous action. That is, from shot 1 to shot 2, the same thing is happening, but it is shown from different angles. Shooting and editing continuous action is one of those basic skills that takes a little practice, so I advise that in your next short, maybe the ENTIRE thing takes place in one location, and it's all continuous action. Practice how to shoot for continuity, and how to cut on action, stuff like that.

I think you're being harder on yourself than you need to be. This is beginner work, sure, but it's not bad at all. I think you've got a solid foundation to build on. Keep working at it.

This idea was posted on a website years ago. I've seen literally dozens of the same thing. It's getting old.

that1guyy said:

This idea was posted on a website years ago. I've seen literally dozens of the same thing. It's getting old.

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I heard Martin Scorsese did a variation of it in Goodfellas.

And before him Orson Welles.


And before him Gilbert and Sullivan included it in their latter stage plays.

I once read that William Shakespeare made Queen Elizabeth pee her royal dress with such.


He's reported to have learned it from Hrosvitha of Gandersheim.

She adapted the technique from Gnaeus Naevius, the Roman, who copied it from Thespis, the Athenian.


But you know he stole it from the cave painters who started it all with "I am the worlds greatest hunter. Blah, blah, blah."


But even they stole it from the aliens who said "I am the universe's greatest poly-diety. Blah, blah, blah."