I watched the entire thing. My cinematography skills are the least of anyone here(including lesser than your own by a mile) so I'll just stick to what I saw as a viewer of the story since appreciating a good story is something I am decent at.
The startle effect worked great the first time. The other three or four times, it fell flat for me.
The blue gels may have been a bit overdone in the dream sequences. I caught on quickly that that was the give away. More variety of color and texture would have been great.
The camera was really grainy in some shots and really pleasing in others. Did you use two different cameras? The worst shots almost look like my XL2's footage. That distracted me from the story. I don't notice grainy/noisy footage throughout as a viewer of a good story, but there was such a contrast that it caught my attention and pulled me out of the story a bit. The tree with the sun shining through looked almost HD. Many of the other shots were much different.
The girl was a pretty solid actor as was the shrink.
The story was indeed an interesting take and has some potential.
I think it was not too bad, but it really was just kind of on cruise control as I watched after the first half. There was that first startle that made me get involved in the story and then it just drifted off. The end was just sort of "meh" even though it was relatively clever.
Now, feel free to look at the rough first short I've ever done on the narrative front page and see where I'm coming from so you can take my opinion for what little it may be worth.
I can't wait to see more of your stuff. My own skills are currently so undeveloped that I learn a great deal from every clip I watch made by skilled folks such as yourself.
