watch The Dumpster - A Short Comedy

There are few things more tempting in life than the lure of an empty dumpster in your neighbor's driveway. But when that neighbor is a jerk, things can get a bit tricky.

This short film screened at 11 film festivals across the US and Canada last year.

http://vimeo.com/27754937

Please share it with your friends.

Music was absolutely wrong.

It took away from the piece. It was too overblown. Too distracting; too noticeable.

Photography outstanding.

Acting weak.

Plot, too simplistic. Too linear. Motivation weak.

The guy's motivation needs to be made more complicated -- he doesn't just want to dump his garbage, he wants WORLD DOMINATION or something.

You need a layer of motivation that isn't there.

And I know it was a short comedy, but the actor wasn't funny. Had he been funny he'd have taken the simplistic plot and turned it into a hilarious bit. He'd have done this with facial expressions, prat falls, whacky language, etc.

Have you studied Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello, Martin and Lewis?

Charlie Chaplin?

You needed a natural born clown, but didn't have one.

Wow Gary. I wasn't really looking for a critique. Maybe you would like to share one of your films. I have to admit at all the festivals I went to, when there was a large crowd, my film brought down the house. So forgive me if I don't put much creed in your opinion.

OMG. You are the same guy who got kicked off the Nicholls Fellowship Facebook page aren't you? What the chances I would run across you? Guess who I hung out with at one of the festivals. Greg Beal. The guy who kicked you off. We even talked about how much of a lunatic you are.

Thanks for the feedback. And good luck with that Baby Nazi film. Looks like a real gem.

Wow. I was about to watch your video, but after reading your reaction on the previous viewer who put their time to watch your work AND give you a valuable feedback - I think I ll pass.

Good luck on your festival run!



Btw, my short vids are on YouTube.com/dlevanchuk
Feel free to bash em with your greatness and awesome filmmaking skills, Scorsese

I liked it. It was pretty good for a short film. I agree it could have been more but it is fine this way too. It just set it self up for a sequel. How about something like Grumpy Old Men where the Neighbors prank each other all the time.

Watched it. Liked it! The obvious chalk path was funny, especially how main character "resolved" it ))

Just thinking outloud : it would be hilarious if the opening shot would be a creepy shot of the "neighbor with dumpster" carrying out a large plastic tarp with something inside of it, putting it in the trucjlk and driving off. That way the protagonist will have to decide if he want to risk and drop the garbage into "that psychopaths dumpster".. And then he will truly freak out if he ll see check marks on the asphalt

But it is not bad the way it is. Liked the sound! What audio set up did u use?

yes, the sound/dialouge quality was top notch

Thanks for watching guys and not going all ballistic on me.

The audio we used was the H2N zoom with a Senneheiser shotgun mic. I had a mix of professional crew (camera and lighting) and volunteer crew for the rest.

I know it's not perfect, but for what it is it turned out well. And it did quite well on the festival circuit which was a blast.

That what counts the most!

Fancy meeting you here!

Skreamings said:

OMG. You are the same guy who got kicked off the Nicholls Fellowship Facebook page aren't you? What the chances I would run across you? Guess who I hung out with at one of the festivals. Greg Beal. The guy who kicked you off. We even talked about how much of a lunatic you are.

Thanks for the feedback. And good luck with that Baby Nazi film. Looks like a real gem.

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I've been thinking about your short all day.

What gets me is why you guys think you have to write your own screenplays. There must be a million public domain comedy sketches out there, most of them tried and proven.

Why are you fellows trying to reinvent the wheel?

Review the old laurel and Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton.

You were doing a Chaplin bit without the complications, twists and turns Chaplin put in his work.



What exactly did you think was new and improved in your sketch?

What exactly was I supposed to laugh at?

what you did has been done before -- in Hollywood! -- only 10 times more inspired.

Who are these people who see a short like yours and say it's genius? What are they talking about?

The photography was sensational, but other than that there was nothing.


Comedy takes work. It involves misdirection, double-entenndres, pratfalls, malapropisms, fractured English, hot babes, zany characters, sight-gags, one-liners, etc.

I have no patience for "comedy" writers who don't know what these things are -- or those who know what they are but haven't mastered them.

Here are two of my shorts:

http://www.blackscripts.com/?wpfb_dl=8

http://www.blackscripts.com/?wpfb_dl=10

http://www.blackscripts.com/?wpfb_dl=6

Caveat: I know the filmmaker and have worked with him so I am biased.

I think it is what it is. A nice festival short, it has some weaknesses, like performance from unpaid actors, but we all struggle with that. Overall, well shot, decent sound, not distractingly bad performances, pretty good super short film.

As for why we write, first, take the number of bad films you see, especially on the web, multiply it by 100, and that's how many bad scripts I see. It's almost easier (for me) to write one than to wade through page after page of dreck trying to find a good screenplay from somebody else. Second, I'm not being paid to make these films, in fact I am paying to make them. I'm not going to do somebody else's script, even a very good one, unless the story really really turns my crank. Never read anybody else's screenplay that did. I would love to, but I haven't.

Gonzo_Entertainment said:

Caveat: I know the filmmaker and have worked with him so I am biased.

I think it is what it is. A nice festival short, it has some weaknesses, like performance from unpaid actors, but we all struggle with that. Overall, well shot, decent sound, not distractingly bad performances, pretty good super short film.

As for why we write, first, take the number of bad films you see, especially on the web, multiply it by 100, and that's how many bad scripts I see. It's almost easier (for me) to write one than to wade through page after page of dreck trying to find a good screenplay from somebody else. Second, I'm not being paid to make these films, in fact I am paying to make them. I'm not going to do somebody else's script, even a very good one, unless the story really really turns my crank. Never read anybody else's screenplay that did. I would love to, but I haven't.

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Well, I think that's the mistake too many indies make. And I can't believe you haven't read any screenplays that inspire you -- there's something wrong with that.

Could you have written "Dr. Strangelove"?

Kubrick had the dark humor concept, but even he, genius that he was, knew he needed someone else to write the screenplay. He chose Terry Southern who, when required, could write a page of hilarious dialogue on demand -- right on location!

Terry Southern began writing satirical, outrageous fiction at the age of 12, when he took it upon himself to rewrite various Edgar Allan Poe stories "because they didn't go far enough". After serving as a lieutenant in the army in World War II, he began writing short stories in earnest while studying at the Sorbonne.

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These kids coming up today are trying to do what Woody Allen, Spike Lee, Orson Wells, Mike Meyers, did and simply don't have nor ever will have the ability to pull it off.

I'll never be able to paint a Picasso -- neither will you! -- but there might be somebody out there who can.

Fledgling filmmakers who are not searching for great scripts are fools. They're letting their egos get in way of their career.

There was nothing in this short and the guy who wrote it needs to be told this in no uncertain terms. He needs to get a brilliant script, not continue to shoot beautifully crafted cinematography.

Well, if I do say so myself, I'm not too shabby.
Am I great writer, driven to write, no, but I'm ok. Only speaking for myself, in the number of hours I could read 20 scripts to find one that didn't suck I could write one. Again I appreciate writers, I appreciate their craft, and as soon as I am in a position where somebody else can vette the scripts and I only have to read the ones that are pretty good and something I'd likely be interested in I'll be all about it. If that never happens I'll probably keep rolling my own and hopefully getting better with each one.

garylloyd said:

Well, I think that's the mistake too many indies make. And I can't believe you haven't read any screenplays that inspire you -- there's something wrong with that.

Could you have written "Dr. Strangelove"?

Kubrick had the dark humor concept, but even he, genius that he was, knew he needed someone else to write the screenplay. He chose Terry Southern who, when required, could write a page of hilarious dialogue on demand -- right on location!



These kids coming up today are trying to do what Woody Allen, Spike Lee, Orson Wells, Mike Meyers, did and simply don't have nor ever will have the ability to pull it off.

I'll never be able to paint a Picasso -- neither will you! -- but there might be somebody out there who can.

Fledgling filmmakers who are not searching for great scripts are fools. They're letting their egos get in way of their career.

There was nothing in this short and the guy who wrote it needs to be told this in no uncertain terms. He needs to get a brilliant script, not continue to shoot beautifully crafted cinematography.

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You have to start somewhere, just relax.

And I think it was entertaining to watch. Usually in shorts I stop watching them halfway if there bad, this one managed to keep me entertained thought, so I think it was pretty good. Also I don't think he's looking for a critique.

EDIT: Well, not an in depth critique.

TheNoob said:

You have to start somewhere, just relax.

And I think it was entertaining to watch. Usually in shorts I stop watching them halfway if there bad, this one managed to keep me entertained thought, so I think it was pretty good. Also I don't think he's looking for a critique.

EDIT: Well, not an in depth critique.

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It was good, but it wasn't good enough.

Someone needs to start telling these kids, "Your work is not good enough."

Instead, everyone's telling them "That's incredibly good!"

Everybody can't be a filmmaker.

There's something disturbing happening here. People who know better, school counselors who know better, and of course the schools themselves are promoting the idea that with the proper education anyone can be a filmmaker.

You go to vimeo and youtube and see all this dreck -- beautifully filmed dreck, but dreck nonetheless.

It just makes things more difficult for true geniuses like me.

garylloyd said:

It just makes things more difficult for true geniuses like me.

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Hahahaha

Thanks... I needed that laugh.

I caught this at the SoCal Independent Film Festival when I went to see CrackerFunk's Antihero with ZenSteve. I remember it getting some laughs from the crowd. I enjoyed it. Wasn't blown away, but it's a solid short.



Had to smile when I saw the credits. I know Sinohui and the gang at Emerging Artists - have worked very closely with John Tulin. Not sure who's still there, but we shot a table read there early last year or so.

Congrats on the accolades!

Let me try to explain what I mean like this:

How would this concept have been executed in a Charlie Chaplin short 100 years ago?

Ok, it's a situation comedy. The conflict is one neighbor trying to get over on the other. The plot is getting the drywall into the dumpster without getting caught. The tension happens when the lead sees the drag mark leading back to his house. The tension is heightened when the lead runs into problems erasing the evidence.

So far we have nothing. This is as simplistic as a plot gets -- but it's all we get from this short: it never rises above this simplistic premise.

Well, that's the problem right there.

Chaplin would have had 20 gags in the plot at that point. He'd have fallen on to the drywall slab and slid down the street on it followed by a barking dog who'd have jumped on his back and rode down with him.

He'd have got to an intersection and slid through it with ten cars barely missing him. He'd have crashed into a lake then stupidly dove back into to save the slab of drywall. Finally, after risking life and limb to save it, he'd have dragged it out -- but not before an alligator bites into it and trys to drag it back in. The battle between the two would have been ferocious, but finally Chaplin would have prevailed.

Many more horrors and gags would have ensued before getting it back to the dumpster. Then after dumping it in, he'd have turned and seen his neighbor standing there angrily looking at him.

Here comes the funny part ...

Gesticulating wildly (this would have been a silent movie), he'd have described to the neighbor all the things we went through to get the slab into the dumpster. He have described the horror of sliding down the hill through oncoming traffic. He'd have described almost drowning in the lake, then jumping back in to save the slab. He'd have described the battle with the alligator. So forth and so on.

The neighbor would have listened then told him to take it out. Incredulous, Chaplin would have taken it out, then raging at the neighbor and with a wildness in his eyes, he'd have grabbed the dog, jumped on slab and rode it down toward the lake again yelling like a maniac as he goes.

That's inspired comedy. That's not linear; it's not a one trick pony. It's complication upon complication upon complication. It's taking the one idea and growing it into 20 other mini-plots. It's giving the gifted comedic actor a chance to show his stuff. It's making a hilarious commentary on how absurd life is. It's doing more than just taking pretty pictures.

Which is why I say these kids need to go back and study Chaplin, et al.

All film comedy comes from Chaplin, you know.