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watch Feedback on SHORT HORROR TRAILER!!!

I think it screams The Grudge, or Ju-on.

I am not a filmmaker (I'm a web designer), but as someone who watches movies, here are a couple suggestions:

Never show the girl. If that's your budget, then don't bother trying to show something scary. Shayamalan's Signs was great and creepy until I saw the cheesy alien. Jeepers Creepers was fantasticly scary and offsetting until I found out the antagonist was a winged demon. Use people's imaginations to your advantage - don't even show her arm or hand, let the viewer make up something terrifying. Shadows, silhouettes, unrecognizable things are what scares the crap out of me.

Work on the sound - When Amber is in the bathroom and hears the noises from far away, they sound pretty tinny, like stock SFX or something. Anything you can do about that?

Have reasons for things - as the short continues, lights are getting turned off. Who's doing it? The monster? Amber? The only indication that this is even noticed is when Amber exclaims "SHIT!"

Also, why is the monster out for Amber? What's the relevance of the broken picture?
 
kinglis said:
It wasn't scary...
Click to expand...
I didn't poop my pants, either.
I mighta just... nevermind.


Lettuce begin with:
"The foreign exchange student Amber comes home to find the living room in a complete state of dishevel. "
dishevelment is the word you're looking for. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dishevelment

That she's a "foreign exchange student" is immaterial to the story, so drop that term and begin the sentence simply with "A young woman comes home...".

The opening 360° was... less than elegant.

That jarring jump edit @ 0:28, yeah. You need a cross fade there.

Seriously, my favorite bit of camera work I actually did appreciate was the docudrama bit from 0:55 to 1:04.

My least favorite was the "A$$ Cam" from 1:56 to 2:02. I'm sure IRL it's a lovely a$$, butt I don't think it makes for a good part of a horror story.

@ 2:06 that key shot is visual exposition. Great for late night infomercials. Not so great for cinema magnifique.

I REALLY like your "night time" shots from 2:57 to 3:26. How did you do that? Day for night, alter in post?

Okey doke, then... !
Work on developing your actual story and I'll look forward to your next short!
 
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