View Full Version : Two Minute London-Based Romance :)


danieljohnsonfilms
09-22-2010, 03:39 PM
Filmed yesterday in London with two wonderful actors. It's called 'one day' - and it's only two minutes long. I'd love for you to check it out, and I hope it shows a side to London that's different to the usual grumpy commuters and bad weather :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWknKUL_XuE

Dan

Utopia
09-22-2010, 04:32 PM
Wow. That was awesome if you shot this yesterday and edited it by today.

I have a few suggestions on the VO (voice over. Voice that comes in as narration from someone who is not on screen):

Make their voices live in their own space. Don't record them outside - make the listener feel it's voices from inside their heads.

Check this short project done 5 years ago:



See how the voice has it's own space? I wanted to make the listener feel like the guy was whispering into your ear real close/intimate. And the ambiences are whispy and tons of verb. That's more like how I would treat this short film.

I would smooth out the fade in/outs of the ambiences you do have in there, like the ending ambience. Also the beginning one. Possibly a few piano notes could add to the mood? Nothing big, something small and special - heartfelt.

Also, after the very first shot, it shows someone in a white shirt in the middle of the screen - I immediately thought this was your protagonist. Then it showed a cute couple all around London. Maybe show a bigger shot of a crowd not focused on anyone? That unless you were pulling a Peter Jackson or Steven Spielberg and that's YOU in there - hehe.

Great job!

danieljohnsonfilms
09-22-2010, 04:42 PM
hey, thanks for your feedback. i don't disagree with any of them - and i was aware of the faults you mentioned but, y'know, we shot in four hours, we couldn't find a quiet space to do VO; we just did it how we did it. it bothers you, as a filmmaker, but by and large, people will be swept up in the London-stuff and won't worry too much about the audio. but yeah, it's rough and unprofessional, i get that, but at the same time - i'm not too worried. it felt right to do it this way, this time. it is what it is :) 4 hour shoot on a very old sony handycam in the midst of london...... :)

as for not picking out the protagonists.. again, you're totally right - but y'know, i like it, it felt right to shoot this way-- if a quarter of viewers don't get it, no worries, it's just a two minute piece of art; the looseness and lack of 'professionalism' or whatever, i think to many, can be endearing :)

dan

danieljohnsonfilms
09-22-2010, 04:46 PM
And I like your video..

Utopia
09-22-2010, 05:03 PM
Thanks!

I like yours too. I didn't say it was unprofessional at all! I like it a lot.

So is that you in the white shirt or were you holding the camera?

danieljohnsonfilms
09-22-2010, 06:10 PM
i'm holding the camera! no clue who the dude in white is, but maybe he'll be emailing me soon demanding a credit ;)

Murdock
09-22-2010, 06:42 PM
I like it

FCRabbath
09-28-2010, 02:32 PM
Good job man! I enjoyed it. Some sound was off but that could be my connection.

mnestevao
10-02-2010, 05:29 PM
Very good proposal, very good shooting, I really liked it.

I would just make closer shots, with unfocused background, on the majority of scenes, to create more intimacy, like the world doesn't matter when the couple is together.

I feel the pace in some scenes could be slower too.

Just my 2 cents, but I really liked the "no dialog" movie, it's my preferred way to make.

David.rhsc
10-08-2010, 01:29 AM
I dig it. Love the style; light, airy, observational. I'll echo the idea of getting some more closer shots to cut in, the long wides are nice, but I missed the punctuation of the close ups.

Libby
10-08-2010, 06:00 AM
I thought that was very well done. A little camera shakiness...and I would have loved the ending a bit longer - you know, the girl walking away and then lost into the crowd (not too much longer but long enough so that she becomes one of many people)

Libby
10-08-2010, 06:00 AM
Wow. That was awesome if you shot this yesterday and edited it by today.

I have a few suggestions on the VO (voice over. Voice that comes in as narration from someone who is not on screen):

Make their voices live in their own space. Don't record them outside - make the listener feel it's voices from inside their heads.

Check this short project done 5 years ago:



See how the voice has it's own space? I wanted to make the listener feel like the guy was whispering into your ear real close/intimate. And the ambiences are whispy and tons of verb. That's more like how I would treat this short film.

I would smooth out the fade in/outs of the ambiences you do have in there, like the ending ambience. Also the beginning one. Possibly a few piano notes could add to the mood? Nothing big, something small and special - heartfelt.

Also, after the very first shot, it shows someone in a white shirt in the middle of the screen - I immediately thought this was your protagonist. Then it showed a cute couple all around London. Maybe show a bigger shot of a crowd not focused on anyone? That unless you were pulling a Peter Jackson or Steven Spielberg and that's YOU in there - hehe.

Great job!


Is it me? What happened to the short???

danieljohnsonfilms
12-24-2010, 03:04 PM
thanks all for your feedback. it's appreciated :)