Deadwood Quotes Thread (Warning: Language)

Adeimantus

Adeimantus

I'm a Deadwood fan.

Anyone else?

Place your fav quotes here:


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EB Farnum: "Be brief."

Calamity Jane: "Be Fucked!"

EB Farnum: "Her gutter mouth, and the widow in an opium stupor. A conversation for the ages.”


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Al Swearengen: God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes.


******
Al Swearengen: You want a blow job while I talk to you?
Judge: No.
Al Swearengen: I wasn't offering personally.


******
Trixie: Tread lightly who lives in hope of pussy.


******
Al Swearengen: Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head, rob 'em, and throw their bodies in the creek.
Cy Tolliver: But that would be wrong.


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Reverend H.W. Smith: When I read the Scriptures, I do not feel Christ's love as I used to.
Calamity Jane: Aw, is that so? That is too bad! Join the fuckin' club of most of us!


******
Ellsworth: I may have fucked up my life flatter'n hammered shit, but I stand here before you today beholden to no human cocksucker


******
Calamity Jane: Maybe I will have a fuckin' drink, for sociability's sake and 'cause I'm a fuckin' drunk.
Joanie Stubbs: What's your preference?
Calamity Jane: That it ain't been previously swallowed.
 
ROC said:
Deadwood is really like that? Wow.
Click to expand...

Fuckin-A!

A few more:

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[Jack has just been found not-guilty of killing Wild Bill Hickock]

Al Swearengen: What's your name, it's Jack, ain't it?

Jack McCall: Yes, sir! You buy me a drink, I'll make my mark.

Al Swearengen: Stick around camp, Jack- I'll make mine for you.

Jack McCall: What in the hell is that supposed to mean?

Al Swearengen: Means there's a horse waiting for you outside you'll want to get on before somebody murders you who gives a fuck about right and wrong- or I do.

[Jack stares, dumbfounded]

Al Swearengen: It's the paint, Jack. Right outside my joint.

[whispering]
Al Swearengen: Run for your fucking life.


**********

Al Swearengen: In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another.


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Trixie: I spoke of looking out for an axe and a saw, and if I got 'em, they wouldn't be applied to buildin' nothin'. Anyways, would you want a free fuck?


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Al Swearengen: My oath on this; everyday that the widow sits on her ass in New York City, looks west at sunset, and thinks to herself God bless you ignorant cocksuckers in Deadwood who strive mightily and have little money, to add to my ever increasing fortune, she'll be safe from the whiles of Al Swearengen.


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Cy Tolliver: Sayin' questions in that tone and pointin' your finger at me will get you told to fuck yourself.

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Francis Wolcott: I am a sinner that does not expect forgiveness. But I am not a fuckin' government official.


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Tom Nuttall: My bicycle masters boardwalk and quagmire with aplomb. Those that doubt me... suck cock by choice.

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Wild Bill Hickok: Some goddamn point a man's due to stop arguing with his-self and feeling twice the goddamn fool he knows he is 'cause he can't be something he tries to be every goddamn day without once getting to dinnertime and fucking it up. I don't want to fight it anymore, understand me Charlie? And I don't want you pissing in my ear about it. Can you let me go to hell the way I want to?

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Ellsworth: Well'm, I've got myself a working gold claim.
Joanie Stubbs: Well, sir, is that a damn fact?
Ellsworth: A hell of a working gold claim, and if we knew each other better I'd throw fucking in there somewhere.
Joanie Stubbs: If you did I'd try to catch it.
Ellsworth: A working fucking gold claim, Joanie, and thank you for allowing me my full range of expression.

************

Jack McCall: Should we shake hands or something, relieve the atmosphere? I mean how stupid do you think I am?
Wild Bill Hickok: I don't know. I just met you.


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