watch Shattered Glass - Single Camera

This is my first proper attempt at making a film.
I'm doing National Diploma Media in Bromsgrove, England, UK...
I'm hoping to become an editor when I've finished Uni ect.

I used FinalCutPro to edit my footage, and recorded some of my own foley including some body hits from Soundtrack Pro.

I'm not too fond of this short as it was a abit rushed, but please rate/comment.
Tell me what you think

Click here to watch

first attempt, better than most ppl out there.

but i would focus more on the basics and take care of them. for eg. u violated the 180 rule.

That was pretty good for a first film, you had some nice shots, too. The main thing I tweak would be the music- you had it playing for almost the entire film and it took away from your story at times. I though your ending worked well because there was no music which gave more emphasis to what was happening on screen

I liked it! Great work on the Foley!

I would have used a tripod for all but the scenes with the robber, dropped the music out maybe a bit earlier, and used a bit tighter shots in some places. Other than that, good job!

Good flow up to 1:34. Passing of time works for me. Framing looked okay thus far. Some said above the 180 rule was broken but I missed it.

@ 1:34, was a zoom used? If so, try moving the camera instead.

Camera placement for the fight scene could have been better to hide that you did not hit him. In fact, I noticed the camera isn't moving around that much and always sitting on a tripod. Don't be afraid to have some hand held. I do agree with theMurph on the handheld during the fight. Also, multiple shots from different angles (challenge yourself in the editing room).

Acting was fine for a non-dialogue film. Expression could have been done a bit more but for a simple film as such, I bought it.

Story was simple and non-moving but looks like you were trying to play with the editing. Newspaper at beginning could have foreshadowed the murder later. Also sound could have helped foreshadow and/or tell the story or reveal a murder. I understand these are a bit advanced tools but something to think about.

Like another said, song dominated the beginning and could have been shorten and ambient sounds would have worked. By the time we got off the bus I figured it wasn't going to be a talking film/for sure at the classroom. Foley seemed fine. But like most the sound seemed like two tracks which I believe.

Good job for a first shoot. Editing came out fine.

Very cool! Although I was a bit confused as to how the events were related. I think there was a bit too much plot for the time allowed. My take is that this guy had a dream about a robber breaking into his house and that he killed him, cut him up into little pieces (and threw him over the fence LOL!) Then he woke up, and was it supposed to be that the dream was a premonition? Other than that, I think it was really good, and well edited!