What do you think of this scene?

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY

The DOCTOR sits on his stool, the PATIENT, a man, sits on the exam table.

DOCTOR
Mr. Smith, you need to stop masturbating.

PATIENT
Why?

DOCTOR
Because I'm trying to examine you.


FADE TO BLACK

What do you guys think? :P
 
as part of a movie or just a single scene? and i think if the camera was positioned behind the doctor standing over the patient lying on a bed and so hes blocking the view of the other guy's dick it would be good. so you dont see it before he says stop wanking. cant see how this would fit in with a short film or whatever cuz it could only stretch to an absolute Maximum of what,? 7 seconds? wouldnt it look rather odd? im not sure if im putting too much effort into a joke or not. but if youre serious then, yeh.
 
:D

I had to google the Goon Show :P Thanks for turning me on to that! They have a ton of the scripts on their site (!!) and it's freakin comedy gold(-plated cheese).

I wish they played these on the radio here.
 
as part of a movie or just a single scene? and i think if the camera was positioned behind the doctor standing over the patient lying on a bed and so hes blocking the view of the other guy's dick it would be good. so you dont see it before he says stop wanking. cant see how this would fit in with a short film or whatever cuz it could only stretch to an absolute Maximum of what,? 7 seconds? wouldnt it look rather odd? im not sure if im putting too much effort into a joke or not. but if youre serious then, yeh.

Lol yeah it was just a joke, but it's funny because once I posted it in script form I was like, hmm, I bet I could film this. We are of one mind about not seeing the 'wanking' until the punch line and I was figuring out camera angles in my head, lol. I think I could even do it with the same actor... but I digress
 
But dang it-the motivation...I NEED The motivation!

I need details-what's going through the mind. I want the visual descriptions! I NEED VISUALS!!!!


:D


Seriously, that's awesome! :)
 
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