This is a film I made about an a student and aspiring director at Oxford University. I'd really appreciate any feedback, either on here or on the youtube page. Many Thanks - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BagdhdzbBo
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watch Short Mockumentary - comedy, set at Oxford University
- Thread starter ArcadeFire
- Start date
There was some truly funny moments in your film. One thing I would have liked to see though, is some of the iconic Oxford University architecture. If that is really where you shot the film, then why not? If it wasn't then you pulled the location bluff off well.
Some shots like this:
Some shots like this:
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There was some truly funny moments in your film. One thing I would have liked to see though, is some of the iconic Oxford University architecture. If that is really where you shot the film, then why not? If it wasn't then you pulled the location bluff off well.
Some shots like this:
Thanks for the feedback. That's a good thought. It was shot in Oxford. The only reason I didn't do the architecture thing was because it seemed a little cliched. But in hindsight I think that it would make the film more accessible to non-Oxford students so I think I'll add some in. Many thanks.
I just see that character standing all pompous with a pipe in hand outside one of those great buildings...then a close up and some stupid shit comes out his mouth. It would be very Rushmore in my mind.
Just watched it a second time. The entire film I'm thinking "ok here comes the wide shot of the buildings" and nothing is reviled. Use this to your advantage, build up that feeling for a final shot, revile that he is IN FACT a member of the Oxford University.
Just watched it a second time. The entire film I'm thinking "ok here comes the wide shot of the buildings" and nothing is reviled. Use this to your advantage, build up that feeling for a final shot, revile that he is IN FACT a member of the Oxford University.
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It's only cliched to you because you see it all day long
It's only cliched to you because you see it all day long
Yep, that's a fair point. I should have had a more outside perspective on it
There was some truly funny moments in your film. One thing I would have liked to see though, is some of the iconic Oxford University architecture. If that is really where you shot the film, then why not? If it wasn't then you pulled the location bluff off well.
Some shots like this:
I got round to filming an Oxford montage to set the scene before the start of the film. It's up here now if you want to take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RHzhbQau2g
Cheers
In total honesty (and as a British person) i thought that was extremely poor.
I can see that you're trying to do for Oxford what 'High Renaissance Man' did for Bristol, but it just wasn't funny or particularly self aware. No problems with the photography though
For Americans who want to see a British university comedy try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJY73GgkvWg
I can see that you're trying to do for Oxford what 'High Renaissance Man' did for Bristol, but it just wasn't funny or particularly self aware. No problems with the photography though
For Americans who want to see a British university comedy try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJY73GgkvWg
In total honesty (and as a British person) i thought that was extremely poor.
I can see that you're trying to do for Oxford what 'High Renaissance Man' did for Bristol, but it just wasn't funny or particularly self aware. No problems with the photography though
For Americans who want to see a British university comedy try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJY73GgkvWg
I must say that is pretty harsh criticism, and nothing like the feedback I've received from anywhere else! I know it's not a masterpiece, but I don't think it's extremely poor. Average perhaps, but not horrifically bad! But anyway, it's good to hear any kind of opinion. Would you mind expanding on what you disliked about it so I know what to improve? I should also say that, although I know it's similar in idea to HRM, I had no idea at all about HRM until I'd finished this film so it's not meant to be modeled on it, it's just a coincidence.
Hey!
Nice work. Pay no mind to The Claps. It's okay to be brutally honest with a critique, but if you can't offer insight that might help the filmmaker improve, then you're kinda just hatin'.
Arcade, I had two thoughts, while watching this. First, it's not close enough to a real documentary. There's this one time when the dude is giving a freaking monologue, a really long one. Documentaries tend to have quick sound-bites, because that's all you can get. In real life, people don't speak so eloquently -- they interject a whole lot of "uhhs" and "umms", and blank stares. So, if you're gonna make a mockumentary, and you want it to pass as a documentary, your characters should be more human -- not so rehearsed. This means that in editing the mockumentary, you might want a whole lot of cutaways, quick cuts, and more than one "interviewee".
My second comment is in regards to the Oxford scenery montage that you put in the front on the second edit. Jesus Christ, man, enough with the zooms! Press "record", then keep your stinking hands off the camera.
This is good work. It looks like you had fun making it, and it's a fun little video. Best wishes on your next!
Nice work. Pay no mind to The Claps. It's okay to be brutally honest with a critique, but if you can't offer insight that might help the filmmaker improve, then you're kinda just hatin'.
Arcade, I had two thoughts, while watching this. First, it's not close enough to a real documentary. There's this one time when the dude is giving a freaking monologue, a really long one. Documentaries tend to have quick sound-bites, because that's all you can get. In real life, people don't speak so eloquently -- they interject a whole lot of "uhhs" and "umms", and blank stares. So, if you're gonna make a mockumentary, and you want it to pass as a documentary, your characters should be more human -- not so rehearsed. This means that in editing the mockumentary, you might want a whole lot of cutaways, quick cuts, and more than one "interviewee".
My second comment is in regards to the Oxford scenery montage that you put in the front on the second edit. Jesus Christ, man, enough with the zooms! Press "record", then keep your stinking hands off the camera.
This is good work. It looks like you had fun making it, and it's a fun little video. Best wishes on your next!
Ok, i will elaborate if i have to.
I can see what you're trying to do with it. Perhaps it's because i'm British and tuned in to the public school mentality that i had problems. I'm sure you've seen High Renaissance Man, well the difference is is that that strives to have a realistic and plausible, if pitiable, central character. Your one is just a series of recycled stereotypes that are not believable. If the central character doesn't have traits that are instantly recognisable, but also be human in the process, then it's difficult to find the comedy.
My assertion that it was 'extremely poor' was simply because it didn't once make me laugh and just made me cringe slightly at what was trying to be done.
Recommendations:
-Tone down the central character. There's a moment in HRM where the main character is listing things his dad says to him and he goes 'Tidy your room! Get down stairs! I wish you had died and not Max! You know...Dad stuff.' That's just an example off the top of my head, but that's the sort of subtly that your film lacked.
-I would agree with Cracker that the film wasn't realistic as a documentary as well. When you interviewed the guy who was supposed to be cleaning the squash courts he looked as though he was about to burst out laughing. This along with the clear 'acting' of the leading man made it difficult to invest in it either as a documentary or a comedy piece.
But in other news, i too love Arcade Fire.
I can see what you're trying to do with it. Perhaps it's because i'm British and tuned in to the public school mentality that i had problems. I'm sure you've seen High Renaissance Man, well the difference is is that that strives to have a realistic and plausible, if pitiable, central character. Your one is just a series of recycled stereotypes that are not believable. If the central character doesn't have traits that are instantly recognisable, but also be human in the process, then it's difficult to find the comedy.
My assertion that it was 'extremely poor' was simply because it didn't once make me laugh and just made me cringe slightly at what was trying to be done.
Recommendations:
-Tone down the central character. There's a moment in HRM where the main character is listing things his dad says to him and he goes 'Tidy your room! Get down stairs! I wish you had died and not Max! You know...Dad stuff.' That's just an example off the top of my head, but that's the sort of subtly that your film lacked.
-I would agree with Cracker that the film wasn't realistic as a documentary as well. When you interviewed the guy who was supposed to be cleaning the squash courts he looked as though he was about to burst out laughing. This along with the clear 'acting' of the leading man made it difficult to invest in it either as a documentary or a comedy piece.
But in other news, i too love Arcade Fire.
Thanks for the comments Cracker. Very helpful and very valid. The only thing I will say, just as a point of interest, is that I did do quite a lot of research of mockumentaries before making this film (which was originally intended to be a 30 minute, 14-hander, which I'll make one day I hope!), particularly of Chris Guest films as I think his are the best. I noticed that in the interview scenes in his films there are actually very few cutaways. They change the framing of the interviewee at times, but don't tend to cut away often (Unless referring to a particular object). I preferred that style to the more TV documentary style of frequent cutaways. In hindsight though, I expect that this approach works with authenticity in Guest films because the acting is really top notch and production values are higher. I do think my actor here is very talented actually, and will do well, but he'd never done a mocku before. Perhaps also, aiming for something of professional film quality rather than TV style was too ambitious given my lack of expertise and was perhaps wrong for the context. Anyway, just thought I'd mention that seeing as there was a thought process involved.
Thanks Nick. Fair comments, I accept. Just a couple of things I'd say in response. Firstly, I do believe that, albeit not perhaps pulled off too well, the character in my film is believable, but I think that perhaps it works better with an Oxford University audience. Many people who watched the film at Oxford have told me how believable they found the character, and I do believe that Oxford perhaps produces people like this more than other universities because there is so much drama there (120 student shows per year!) and lots of 'aspiring' (and often hopeless) directors. My actor had worked under many of them and so his character and performance was modeled on a reality. But I accept that it may not translate so well out of Oxford (I was always aware this would be so), and that regardless of that, there are authenticity issues with him.
Secondly, in response to what you say about HRM, although I like it, and it obviously has popular appeal, I think the example you gave of what you call 'subtlety' I would argue is the opposite and is why I don't like HRM as much as many other people. I really don't see what's subtle at all about the line that you quoted. If it was subtle it would fit in with everything else that the character is saying, but making a jump from 'tidy you room' to 'I wish you had died' is hardly a smooth or believable one! How many parents do you know that would ever say that!? I do like the strength of the character in HRM and his continuity throughout, but I don't find him quite as believable as some people do. Though I guess that a mockumentary character has to verge on being unbelievable in order to be funny so it is a really difficult line to tread, and they did a pretty good job. I just felt that HRM went a bit too far a few times. I actually think that the new film by TotallyTom on youtube (about a street dance crew) is better than HRM and really did make me laugh. It's worth a watch if you haven't seen it yet.