The lighting needs to pop more--especially if you're going to put the film grain filter on it. You need to brighten things up a little. At least, that's my opinion.
The sound is all over the place. When the actors move from position, they move away from the mic placement, which causes a noticable change in volume and richness. If you're actors are going to move, move the mic with them. If you can't get both actors on one take, mic the other actor on another take and use that audio. If that doesn't work...ADR what you couldn't get good audio on. Did your school have access to lavs? If so, you can use those in certain instances.
The acting was pretty low rent. The first two actors aren't aweful, but the second pair were...I understand you're using friends, and that's tough, trust me I understand. But acting is super important in keeping the audience into the story and moment. Hold auditions. And give yourself plenty of time to cast the right person. I felt like the old guy was good--he had a nice look, and he was the strongest actor...but he still lacked energy.
The editing was decent. I have no real complaints.
You were out of focus on a few shots--especially the low shot of the cocain and the old guy. The old man was soft, and the painting behind him was in focus. That shot was used numerous times, when it should have only been a quick shot at best. Be sure you zoom in on your subjects and get a focus before you call action. This guys goatee would have been perfect to grab a focus on...but he was soft. And with the film grain, you have to make exta-sure your subjects are in sharp focus.
I thought the story line was pretty humdrum. Typical fare. Nothing unique. I wouldn't have even noitced the Q.T. homage if you didn't label it so.
The location wasn't interesting at all. This guy was the 'Snowman', and his house was middleclass all the way. Where did all his money go? Did he give it all to charity? I understand you have limited resources...but so do many of us...you have to really be creative if you're on a micro budget...there's no reason for a location to be drab and boring, unless it's suppose to be. Think on your toes and use as many resources as you can to capture a cool location--especially if it's pivital for your main character's dwelling.
The music was in and out. It was like you weren't sure where to put it in...and when...and for how long. It sort of just popped in and out for no reason. You have to find a through-line and conceived transitions.
Anyway. I tend to be open and honest with critiques when I'm asked. Don't take this personally. I admire your hard work, and you've got a long life ahead of you to master your craft, as well as find other people to take the journey with you.
Keep up the hard work.
