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watch "Dan - 02/11/08" & "The Computer"

Papertwinproductions

Papertwinproductions

Well, one of the first things I see off the bat is you believe in a tripod. Awesome! So many people just want to hold the camera as still as possible. I hate that. If the shot is static throw it on a tripod. So you get kudos for that. As far as some other things you might want to work on. One would be pacing your films better. That deals with music, edits, lighting, etc. Your work is paced really slow. Now usually when I make this point the director says "Well, I wanted that slow, tense feel." Fine. But there is a difference between a slow tense feel and slow pacing. So watch a bunch of films and you'll see what I am talking about. Lighting is another aspect you should be working on. In "the Computer" I noticed a lot of hard shadows and double shadows as well. Research how to make lighting soft. Study different films and notice the lighting in each shot and how that scene makes you feel. Lighting is everything. You can cut all audio and still tell a story. If you cut all the visual you will be left with a radio show. Audio is yet another thing to work on. Many of the characters talking weren't recorded well at all. Try to utilize a boom mic and get some sound design going. Good sound is the sign of a great director and makes your film less amateur. So not a bad effort. Start studying film and see what the pros do and work on your pieces. Hope this helps.
 
Brooksy said:
Well, one of the first things I see off the bat is you believe in a tripod. Awesome! So many people just want to hold the camera as still as possible. I hate that. If the shot is static throw it on a tripod. So you get kudos for that. As far as some other things you might want to work on. One would be pacing your films better. That deals with music, edits, lighting, etc. Your work is paced really slow. Now usually when I make this point the director says "Well, I wanted that slow, tense feel." Fine. But there is a difference between a slow tense feel and slow pacing. So watch a bunch of films and you'll see what I am talking about. Lighting is another aspect you should be working on. In "the Computer" I noticed a lot of hard shadows and double shadows as well. Research how to make lighting soft. Study different films and notice the lighting in each shot and how that scene makes you feel. Lighting is everything. You can cut all audio and still tell a story. If you cut all the visual you will be left with a radio show. Audio is yet another thing to work on. Many of the characters talking weren't recorded well at all. Try to utilize a boom mic and get some sound design going. Good sound is the sign of a great director and makes your film less amateur. So not a bad effort. Start studying film and see what the pros do and work on your pieces. Hope this helps.
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Thanks for the feedback, I understand what you mean about the slow pacing. I did want a tense/slow feel but I agree after a month or so after we finished the project, I realised some of the shots were held for far too long and there wasn't much tension if any.

For "The Computer" my director of photography was in charge of lighting, as I know little about the matter. However I'm working on learning more about it since it's significant to the feel of a film.

The sound definitely needs work, again I currently know very little about sound and we haven't invested in a good boom mic at the minute. I'm taking a film production course soon enough so hopefully I should improve in those aspects, in the time between now and then though I will take these points into account and get to work on them!
 
Remember if you ever have any questions about sound or lighting we are here to help. Just be prepared to give us a lot of detailed information so we can help you out.
 
I am very impressed with dan and i believe the slow pacing works better for that film then for the computer

keep up the good work and let us know when you've got something new
 
Yeah, as these guys have already said, Dan is paced very slowly and it takes up to over half way through the film for something interesting to happen. The use of small sound effects are useful to create tension. Or the character themselves either humming or whistling, something to keep the shot interesting.

It reminds me of a couple of shorts you might be interested in seeing;

http://www.vimeo.com/5177243 - My Favorite Things works really well with no dialogue and the use of music.

http://www.vimeo.com/5872651 - Kokiri doesnt use any dialogue either, and uses sound effects to create tension.

Hope this helps.
 
Dan

Hey,

Thanks for posting your film.

I get what people are saying about the pacing, but I like it. Of course, when people critique short films here they are often thinking about marketability, and comparisons to the typical Hollywood films. But you're making a film with a little girl, in a park, shot in black and white.. so, evidently, you're not making a Hollywood film, that's not your intention.

What you do create is something very arresting visually, and it has a quiet mystery about it which really holds the attention of the viewer. It doesn't seem badly paced to me, it just seems... patient. And I like that.

Keep at it!

Daniel
 
Thanks everyone for the feedback. Recently uploaded Dan to shooting people, it'd be great if you guys could vote for it in the film of the month competition, link.

Catch33 said:
I am very impressed with dan and i believe the slow pacing works better for that film then for the computer

keep up the good work and let us know when you've got something new
Click to expand...

Thanks, I'll post on here as soon as I've got something new up :)

Stake said:
Yeah, as these guys have already said, Dan is paced very slowly and it takes up to over half way through the film for something interesting to happen. The use of small sound effects are useful to create tension. Or the character themselves either humming or whistling, something to keep the shot interesting.

It reminds me of a couple of shorts you might be interested in seeing;

http://www.vimeo.com/5177243 - My Favorite Things works really well with no dialogue and the use of music.

http://www.vimeo.com/5872651 - Kokiri doesnt use any dialogue either, and uses sound effects to create tension.

Hope this helps.
Click to expand...

Hey, thanks for the two shorts. Both of them were great, I see where you're coming from with those two but they do have a very different feel to them to what I wanted to achieve. I think the audience I was aiming for is more niche for this particular film.

Very sly sneaking your own film in there by the way ;) Great piece too.

danieljohnsonfilms said:
Hey,

Thanks for posting your film.

I get what people are saying about the pacing, but I like it. Of course, when people critique short films here they are often thinking about marketability, and comparisons to the typical Hollywood films. But you're making a film with a little girl, in a park, shot in black and white.. so, evidently, you're not making a Hollywood film, that's not your intention.

What you do create is something very arresting visually, and it has a quiet mystery about it which really holds the attention of the viewer. It doesn't seem badly paced to me, it just seems... patient. And I like that.

Keep at it!

Daniel
Click to expand...

I suppose they are, you're right, we were definitely not trying to make a Hollywood film. This was our first production so we still have a lot to learn but I feel that for this short it was a good choice to keep it simple. I liked the idea that the patient build up and what seems like a dull introduction reflects the characters life.

Thanks again everyone for the advice and opinions!
 
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