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watch My first film

Hey I checked out your short. I'm not sure what kind of feed back you were expecting, but it was your first attempt and Kudos to you for completing it. That's the first major step. Next I would work a bit more on the story. There isn't really much to this one. It doesn't explain anything. Who was the guy who originally had the briefcase. Why did he have it. Who wanted him dead. Why did they want him dead. Was it a setup or a heist gone bad.

I would focus more on the story and some camera work. Try to make every shot you set up compliment what you are shooting and the feeling you are trying to get across. Other than that, practice, practice, practice.
Good luck and I hope this helps


Mitch
 
I'm gonna try to avoid echoing what the guy above me posted, but the main place your work would need improvement would definitely be in the storyline department.

You seem to have the tension aspect down, and the music and camerawork felt fairly fitting for the theme of the piece, the odd sound effect sounded out of place - particularly the gunshots - but that would be easily fixable. Also, what did you use for the blood effects, that seemed half decent, if a little bit fast - it was hard to catch what exactly happened during that bit.

The only other thing is that the whole thing looked like it needed some colour correction. I understand that you were going for a clinical "bluetones" look for the whole thing, but at the moment it looks like the cold colours are merely incidental.

Still, a very good first effort...
 
Bro that was good for your first try. I'm a Junior in H-school and kinda doing the same thing. What camera did you use?
 
Thanks a bunch guys. A lot of what you mentioned was very true. As the director and writer I obviously take full responsibility for any faults in the movie. It was a project for my film class and was a bit rushed. It is a bit hard to get people to do exactly as you say to complete the movie but luckily I have good friends :). I am in the process of reading a few books that detail how to write a good screenplay and how to get my shots from the page to the screen in a professional manner. Zepplin, the camera I used was a sony handycam hdd hybrid.
 
cool first flick.


i think the major lesson of any first film is.. finish it.
alot of people will start shooting and realize how large of a task even a 60 second short becomes. Props for holding your own.


storyline is a big thing if you want to make your films appealing to others.
reserve more time for writing, it IS your film.
 
That seems so long ago. I really didn't focus on story, as it was just a film class project. I have just finished storyboarding my second film a few hours ago, and it's safe to say this one is all about the story. I can't wait to start filming. I will begin filming this friday and should be done within the next three weeks or so. I will post it as soon as it is completed. A rough release date would be anywhere from April 1-April 20th.
 
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