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watch Toilet Terror

I

ISkate91

First post here. I've made some short films before. However, this was the first one I actualyl experimented with the fast changing angles. This is my first real try at a legit short film.

Supposed to be a little comedy maybe with a bit of horror. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q896Lo5sFFk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q896Lo5sFFk
 
You know what would have been really good.... after he discovers the back-up rolls aren't there, what if he had looked around the washroom for "alternate wiping devices"? Then you could cut between funny objects around the bathroom where he sits he might consider using to wipe that could start off normal (like towel, facecloth, toothbrush, hand) and then become horror themed... eg. Chainsaw, Knife, Clawed Hand, Family's Black Cat, Severed Arm on Floor, etc...

Then maybe when he's about to cave and use his own hand or something, he remembers one last hope... the downstairs linen closet!

Cause what you have there is basically a plot that looks like this: Guy can't find toilet paper to wipe his ass with horror music in background...

Which was funny, but to take the cake, I think you have to blend in more of a story into the visual and character part of it and play around with gags. Good simple flick for a first short for sure, I'm just making suggestions for how you can start thinking about putting more content in there.
 
Spatula said:
You know what would have been really good.... after he discovers the back-up rolls aren't there, what if he had looked around the washroom for "alternate wiping devices"? Then you could cut between funny objects around the bathroom where he sits he might consider using to wipe that could start off normal (like towel, facecloth, toothbrush, hand) and then become horror themed... eg. Chainsaw, Knife, Clawed Hand, Family's Black Cat, Severed Arm on Floor, etc...

Then maybe when he's about to cave and use his own hand or something, he remembers one last hope... the downstairs linen closet!

Cause what you have there is basically a plot that looks like this: Guy can't find toilet paper to wipe his ass with horror music in background...

Which was funny, but to take the cake, I think you have to blend in more of a story into the visual and character part of it and play around with gags. Good simple flick for a first short for sure, I'm just making suggestions for how you can start thinking about putting more content in there.
Click to expand...


Thanks for the suggestions. I really liked that first idea, about the different objects. Eventually I was planning on making a second where he goes to the store and they are all sold out.
 
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